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Tag: Self-love (page 1 of 1)

Self-Love Starts With Self-Acceptance: Why I prioritize accepting myself first

I think self-acceptance is more important than self-love.

And alright, alright. Before you throw the proverbial eggs at me and demand I wear the cone of shame, hear me out.

Self-Acceptance, Self-love, Acceping Yourself, Perfectionism, Personal growth, Inspiration

In my quest to devour as many personal development articles as I could, I came across a quote that, frankly, struck a chord in me. I forgot what the exact words were but the thought was this: “If you aren’t good at loving yourself, you will find it difficult to love others.”

Honestly, I call BS on that.

Some people are quite capable of loving others wholeheartedly and unquestioningly. But when it comes to themselves, this is a drag-a-square-boulder-up-a-hill kind of battle. It’s difficult. These people often give themselves zero room for errors and set themselves up to extremely high expectations. I always wondered why we do this, why we are so hard on ourselves. And most of us are – especially girls.

I found a bit of insight through Sharon Salzberg. She discussed how we humans were, on an evolutionary standpoint, wired to look for the negativity in our lives. It was literally a surviving mechanism. And this trait has been passed on from generation to generation. It’s probably why we fixate on our failures and inadequacies so much. It’s probably why we do not like our flaws and, ultimately, ourselves.

Look, I’m not saying you should not love yourself. I’m all for that! I just think it’s ridiculous to make it seem like self-love is some kind of prerequisite to other kinds of love. It isn’t. I don’t think so.

I like to believe that self-love, and every other kinds of love for that matter, is one unique experience. Each one is a game utterly separate from the others. They shouldn’t be mushed into one category, as if one kind of love is a level you need to pass through. Learning one kind of love is exclusive of learning all other kinds of love. Apples and oranges, you know?

And here’s what I think:

love needs self-acceptance

It may be accepting the flaws of a partner or child. It may be accepting the shortcomings of a family member or a friend or even a dog / cat / rabbit / bird / unicorn child. Why yes, you can do that to yourself too! You can recognize your flaws and get on better terms with yourself.

Acknowledging and accepting that you are not perfect is very much a part of self-love. But in a way, it’s quite different from the “I love this part about myself” and “I am worthy of good things” cupcakes-and-ice cream kind of self-love that we often see being encouraged in the personal growth community. (Although that’s awesome too!)

Through self-acceptance, you don’t only see yourself for the good and more positive traits that you possess. You also accept the bad and less positive ones. You accept that you are not perfect and are with flaws. You don’t just love the cupcakes and ice cream, you also acknowledge the goodness of broccoli and raisins. You are able to embrace all parts of you. Warts and scars and all.

I mean, aren’t these the parts of ourselves that we find extremely difficult to accept and, ultimately, love? It is because we have these flaws, because we are imperfect, that we hate ourselves in the first place. Sometimes we can focus so much on our shortcomings that we no longer see what we’re good at.
So imagine what would happen if you start to accept your flaws. What would happen if you begin to embrace your imperfections?

This is why in my little journey of loving myself more, I want to focus on self-acceptance. On accepting both the cupcakes and ice cream, and the broccoli and raisins. Because even though those broccoli and raisins don’t taste as good as the cupcakes and ice cream, they’re good for you too. (This is a really long stretch of an analogy but I do hope you get the point.)

Do you struggle with self-love too? What are some of your imperfections that you’ve learned to accept?

xx Kate

Self-acceptance, personal growth, self-improvement, personal development, mindset, self-love, loving yourself, accepting your flaws

Photo from Ivory Mix

5 Motivating Reminders for When You Think You’re Not Enough

I’m pretty sure most of us have experienced this.

It’s kinda like a thief in the night. You don’t know when you’re gonna have it. Maybe you just woke up, or you’re studying for your majors, or watching a duck live its fabulous life. And then suddenly, you’re struck with a toxic thought:

I am not enough.

It’s just one thought, one single thought, but it bears so much power that it could lead to other toxic thoughts. It’s like a wobbly chip at the edge of a domino chain. The moment it falls, everything else follows.

And a domino chain of toxic thoughts could be the most awful feeling you could possibly have.

You need to press pause when it happens. You need to remind yourself that you are enough. Here are 5 powerfully motivating reminders for when it happens.

5 Reminders for when you think you're not enough | motivation, inspiration, mindset, mental health, self-esteem

1 | You’re achieving just by living

This is a brilliant quote I got from the ever-inspiring Bianca Bass. And she’s absolutely right. The fact that you are here right now, that you’re living and striving to get past every obstacle thrown your way is more than enough. It shows that you are growing. It shows that you are resilient and strong enough to get through life’s obstacles.

And let’s be real here, this whole being a human thing can be pretty difficult — even Bianca Bass thinks so!

Everyone has no idea what they’re doing 80% of the time. Everyone is struggling with their own inner (and outer) demons. You don’t have to do everything all at once. No one faults you for not being perfect, okay? Absolutely no one.

2 | You matter. Always.

I know this is hard to see, sometimes. It is especially difficult when you’re wrapped tightly around the thought that you don’t matter. And you have this nagging feeling that no one thinks you do.

But try to get past that. Look beyond the fog blurring your mind and you’ll see. There are people who look at you with concern in their eyes. Who look at you and see you. And the first person you should look beyond that fog? You.

Stand in front of the mirror. If it hurts to look at your reflection at first, grab one of those compact ones and bring it close enough that all you can see is your eyes. And remember: Those eyes know you matter. They know.

Related: Why I Prioritize Self-Acceptance over Self-Love

3 | You have made the best of difficult moments

Remember #1? When I said you were striving past every obstacle handed to you?

Now, think of all the awful situations you’ve been in before. Look over your shoulder to them. Then look at where you are now.

You got through them.

Isn’t that amazing? I think it’s amazing. And maybe you brought with you scars — most of the time, it does. But you are here. And everything you’ve passed through is over there waaay back behind you. This reminds me of that line in Hamilton’s “That Would Be Enough.”

“Look at where you are
Look at where you started
The fact that you’re alive is a miracle
Just stay alive, that would be enough”

4 | You are bigger than any obstacle

You are stronger than any difficult situation. Remember those past obstacles you got through? Use them as a reminder that whatever else you’ll face ahead, you can get past it, too.

Think about it. So far, your success rate of getting past all those obstacles is 100%. Someone once said — I forgot who it was — that humans were built in such a way that they always get to where they need to be. And I think that is so true. We may go through detours and u-turns and some awfully long pit stops. But eventually, we get to where we need to be.

5 | Have faith that everything will come together

I know that when you’re at your lowest, this can seem far-fetched and fictional. Sometimes I still catch myself thinking, “Really? Something good is out there? Why does that seem foolishly hopeful?” But do you really think that pain is just there for no purpose other than to let you suffer?

Actually, you can think that.

You can think everything and everyone exist to be against you. And the problems you are facing? Maybe they’re only there just to hurt you.

OR, you can learn from them. You can carry with you the lessons you learn from every experience you’ve gone through. You can look at that scar as a reminder. That you are strong and there is something beyond those challenges. And you can bring the experiences with you forward into your journey.

I understand how hard it must be when your entire being feels like it’s drowning in worries and doubts and toxic thoughts. You’d feel worthless. But please know that you are MORE than that.

You are not worthless.

You deserve happiness and assurance and the most awesome rainbow Mother Nature can provide.

Because you are you.

And that is enough. You are enough.

If you ever need someone to talk to, please don’t hesitate on contacting me via email or through my social media accounts. All my inboxes are always open for you 🙂

xx Kate

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3 Self-Love and Inspiring Quotes by Ralph Waldo Emerson

Heyy! How are you? Like seriously, how are you? Is school or work or life itself treating you well?

ralph-waldo-emerson-self-love-quotes

Honestly, I had nothing planned out for today. But then I opened my Pinterest and came across a lovely quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson.

It moved me.

And with a little search on Goodreads (which is a great source for quotes, by the way) I found two more. I also made some quick graphics below for those of you who may need any of the quotes and want to post it on their wall.

I plan on creating my own quotes print someday too but I don’t have the time right now. Hopefully, next month during our summer break 🙂 Anyway, here they are!

“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.”

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“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

ralph-waldo-emerson-quotes

“Dare to live the life you have dreamed for yourself. Go forward and make your dreams come true.”

ralph-waldo-emerson-quotes-3

Have a nice day, awesome peeps! <3

10+ Really Fun Things You Can Do Alone

So, hey. At the time of writing this, next week would be Valentine’s Day.

I’m sure some of you would be spending it with a special someone or with friends or the fam. But I’m also sure some of you will be like me, spending it alone. In my case, it’s just a typical day in the college life of Kate the Stressed Out College Girl. And I couldn’t care less about Valentine’s Day passing by uneventful.

I’m a 100% introvert. Seriously. I’ve taken the Myers-Brigg Test three times and my Introvert-ness is consistently 100%. Which is probably why it’s not shocking to me that I love my alone time.

But I realized not everyone is comfortable in their own company. I know a handful of people who feel so awkward being on their own, they seek refuge in social media.

I guess the problem is some people think of alone and lonely as the same thing.

Friends, they’re not.

10+ Really Fun Things You Can Do Alone

And to prove it, I have a list of things you can do alone and not feel lonely. Because 1) it’s been soooo long since I made a really simple list post and 2) I know plenty so explaining them one-by-one would give you a 583209-word post. That’s more or less trilogy-length. And you wouldn’t want to read something that long, now would you?

Anyhoo, enjoy! 🙂

  • Read your favorite book
  • Take a short hike
  • Photograph things – You don’t have to be an expert and you don’t even have to use a professional camera. Just take a picture of something with your phone or a point-and-shoot camera. Remember that the point here is to enjoy, okay?
  • Watch your favorite movie
  • Draw something – Again, don’t stress over how unrealistic your drawing may look. Just enjoy the creative process 🙂 Better yet…
  • Create something – Any small creative projects are healthy! Not only do they keep your creative juices active, but they’re also quite relaxing. Take your pick!
  • Do some stretching
  • Blast on some good vibe music – And might I suggest to my fellow millennials, Disney songs? 😉
  • DANCE – Whether you want to do it in public or in the comfort of your home is up to you hehe
  • Cook or bake something for yourself – And to my fellow culinary newbies, try something you’re confident you won’t burn
  • Start a journal
  • Go jogging
  • Play an instrument – And if like me, you don’t know any instrument, just belch out some notes with your very own vocal chords
  • Clean your room
  • Play a word puzzle or even try the Rubik’s Cube
  • Go to a (safe) public place like the park or mall or the beach and people watch – I’m telling you this is way more fun than it sounds.
  • Star gaze – Look for a place near you that’s perfect for it, I’m sure there is
  • Stay at home when everyone else is out – Enjoy the quiet. This is my favorite thing to do alone and I’m seldom alone at home so I savor every chance I get.

These are gathered from years of personal experience and I’m someone who’s comfortable in my own company. Still, what works for me may not work for you. But try out a few of these things. Or even think outside the box and do something else entirely! As long as you are enjoying yourself; that is the purpose of this post, anyway.

And also, you never know what you’ll enjoy doing alone unless you do try, yeah? 😉

How do you make time for yourself? What do you best like to do alone?

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PS: You might like to check out 13 ways to be inspired or learn how boredom boosts your creativity.

6 Love Quotes that Inspire, Empower and Thought-Provoke

It’s the first day of February, the month of love. And I love quotes of all kinds (because you all know how I love wonderfully woven words.)

Of course I will be sharing some of my favorite love quotes of all time.

It’s the first day of February, the month of love. And I love quotes of all kinds. Of course I will be sharing some of my favorite love quotes of all time! :D

But there’s a twist here.

Notice how I said some? That’s because today I only intend to share love quotes that are inspiring, empowering and thought-provoking.

Believe me, I love the swoon-worthy, heart-throbbing, Kate-is-passed-out-from-blood-loss kind of love quotes as much as the next teenager. I even had a sticky note in my computer filled with love quotes I found in different YA romance novels. But come on. Where’s the fun in posting typical made-to-swoon-people love quotes in the Love-freakin-Month?

(I’m really on fire with the dashes right now. Probably because of the YA novel I just finished reading. Know what it is? *hint hint*)

So here are 6 amazingly inspiring, empowering, and thought-provoking love quotes for your passion-filled day.

“We all know how important love is, yet how often is it really emoted or exhibited? What so many sick people in this world suffer from—loneliness, boredom and fear—can’t be cured with a pill.”

Albert Schweitzer

“I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.”

Martin Luther King, Jr.

Leave it to Martin Luther King, Jr. to say something still timely to this day.

“Love many things, for therein lies the true strength, and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is done well.”

Vincent Van Gogh

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

Rumi

Good ol’ Rumi. I freakin love this guy’s quotes. I plan on hopefully reading at least one of his works before the year ends. His quotes never fail to move me, wherever I find them.

And what I love about this particular quote is how it focuses on opening your capability to love, as if love is enclosed in a fortress and what you simply need to do is open the gates. Because he’s right. We all are capable of loving. Love is ingrained in humanity.

This next one’s a wee bit long but I love the point it made.

“The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven? And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives? When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see in truth that you are weeping for that which has been your delight.”

Kahlil Gibran

And now, my all-time favorite self-empowering quote. Because I honestly believe that self-empowerment is a mere part of self-love—the kind of love that, according to Lucille Ball, is the first kind you need to have.

“Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.”

I don’t know who said this so if you do, please let me know.

Also, my Art Archive page is now open! You can head on there to see the drawings I made last January. 🙂

Do you like any of these quotes? Do you have any favorite love quote that isn’t only swoon-worthy but also inspirational or empowering? Share them below!

Have a passion-filled Wednesday, awesome peeps!

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