One of the first challenges I encountered when I started working from home was – well… distinguishing work from home.
(more…)Tag: Adulting
Why you need to let your inner child out to play
At age 8, I was already building my very own empire.
A paper empire, to be exact.
I have a paper doll, Analysse, who had a paper mansion and custom tailored clothes (I drew them myself).
She was living The Dream, I’m telling you!
But the thing was, her house was empty. She needed to eat the most delicious food and have the most beautiful things. She could even have her very own elephant, I thought as I look at my thick coloring book given to me by my uncle. It’s filled with the exact things Analysse needed – hair brush, hand bags, elephants and ice cream. Tons of ice cream.
I grabbed a pair of scissors and was about to cut them when a hand held my wrist. It was my aunt.
When she asked me what I was doing, I told her I’m going to cut out a few of the pictures so I could play them with my paper doll.
That’s not how you use coloring books, was what she told me then. Coloring books are for coloring. It isn’t meant to be cut out.
I’m sharing this story now, not because I have a grudge on my aunt for not letting me play back then (I don’t hold grudges) but because, remembering all those years ago, I realized that I was held back. I wasn’t allowed to play however I wanted.
And just like 8-year-old me, my inner child has also been held back. And it stayed that way for years.
I’ve only allowed my inner child to play freely recently. Like 2016 recently. And even to this day, there are still times when I hold myself back.
Here’s the sad truth:
We somehow have this idea that adulthood meant shoving your inner child into the deepest, darkest recesses of your subconscious. That we would no longer need it when we’re adults. Add to that, we live in a world where child-like behaviors are frowned upon.
Raise your hand if you’ve ever been told to “grow up” after doing something fun and carefree and completely un-adult-like.
That’s one aunt holding you back from your play. But really, it’s the aunt inside us that we listen to the most.
Back in the 1970s, psychologist Eric Berne theorized that we all have three parts in us all the time: the parent part, the adult part and the child part.
The idea is, in order to live a happier life, you need to find the balance between these three parts. By age 15, however, (and I’m guesstimating here ok??) we let our adult part take the reins completely. Because that is what’s expected of us – to be adults.
Sure, we’re all adults now. We have far more responsibilities than we did as eight-year-olds. But that does not mean you need to shove your inner child onto the back corner. I have 4 reasons why you need to unleash your inner child and make friends with it.
WHY YOU NEED TO LET YOUR INNER CHILD PLAY
1) It Relieves Stress
As a kid, you usually don’t care about falling down or getting bitten by ants or having dirty hands. You just play and have fun and enjoy yourself! Who cares about dirt? (Adults, that’s who.)
Plenty of studies have shown that the carefree, playful attitude that’s often found in kids can increase happiness and reduce stress.
I’ve had tons of impromptu dance parties with my brother at home and I know this to be true. Play with your pet! Stop for a sec and smell the flowers. Get on your knees and get dirty.
Small yet super fun activities like these can help you forget, even just for a while, the stress that comes with adulting.
2) Strong Fearlessness Muscles
I have these two distinct memories from two different periods in my life:
The first one was when I was around six or seven, dancing my butt out in the middle of the makeshift dance floor at my mom’s office Christmas party.
The second one, I was a sixth grader in our school’s bathroom with my friend, showing to her that I could dance the Spaghetti dance in secret.
I’m a college student now in my senior year, and the only place you could see me dance is inside my house with my brother. (And it only takes me about two minutes and I start wheezing. Gosh I’m old.)
My fearlessness muscles that were super active when I was a six-year-old have become super, super stiff. And I’m sure I’m not the only one in this.
Letting your inner child out to play is a great exercise to your fearlessness muscles. Neither your parent part, and especially not your adult part, has any courageous streak in them. Only your inner child do.
3) Creativity and Inspiration
If there was one word that you could associate with kids, I’d say it’s “why.” Children are curious little potatoes. You’ll probably remember those times when you were a kid and you either thought to yourself or asked an adult why.
Why is the sky blue? Why are Tom & Jerry always fighting? Why do my friend Jenny only have a mom and no dad? Why do ants march in a single line? Why can’t those children go to school? It’s asking these questions that will foster your creativity. It will inspire you to think, to empathise, and to be more aware of the worlds both inside and around you.
The connection between your inner child and creativity has also been scientifically-backed. The Mission made a list of how unleashing your inner child can make you creative.
There’s also this amazing Ted Talk by then twelve-year-old Adora Svitak about how “childish” thinking inspires bold ideas and unhindered creativity. It’s a lovely talk and you should definitely check it out here.
4) You Become a Better Adult
Did you know that narcissistic behaviors and temper tantrums seen in adults are the result of your inner child “acting out”?
Mind = blown.
When you don’t give it play time, your inner child will find its own way to play by acting out. And, as things often do when restrained for too long, they act out in an awfully ugly way.
So all those so-called adults with negative child-like behaviors? You know. Those who are like a child in a grown man’s body (one of which you may know has an orange-y skin and hay-like toupee)? Those adults have not befriended their inner child or are even aware of it.
Mind = blown. Again.
Look, I’m not saying being an adult sucks. (Although adulting is definitely hard, not gonna lie.) If it weren’t for our mature and adult self, the world would be in total chaos. Like far more chaotic than it already is. True adulthood means taking your responsibilities seriously.
But remember: it is also important to let your inner child out to play. It is your inner child’s job to be creative, curious and courageous. Things that I’m sure we all need to cultivate as we also start our journey into adulting.
I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!
Have you let your inner child out to play? What are your thoughts on inner child and how it’s affecting your life? Share them below!
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Photos from Jess Watters (via unsplash). Check out the photographer’s website here.
I Stopped Figuring Out My “One True Calling” and Started Identifying My Calls
Here’s another Katie’s Oldies but Goldies! (HAHAHA I should really stop using that lame name now, I know. But I can’t help it somehow???)
Hey everyone! Just wanna let you know that at the time of editing this post, I’m still alive. Not as preoccupied and llama-wailing as last week, thank goodness. Saturday’s post miiiight be a new one. Might. If I find the time. Until then, I will be a lurker in the blogosphere whenever I find the free time to open Reader.
Hope y’all are doing great! 🙂 Now, onto the post…
I always admired how my sister knew exactly what she wanted. Like me, she devoured series like the Harry Potter series and A Series of Unfortunate Events when she was eight or nine. On her fifth grade, she was already writing her very own novel in an unused composition notebook.
By the time she was in high school and got exposed to the annual city-wide press conference, she started competing in editorial writing. That was when she realized she loved technical writing more than creative writing. She’s a writer for a local newspaper now and she still types fiercely.
And then there’s me.
You know how as far back as kindergarten we were already asked what we want to be when we grow up? Back in first grade, I really put a lot of thought into this because we were supposed to tell it to the entire class.
So I weighed in my options. I was definitely not going to be a doctor because most of the class already said that. And you can’t have everybody be a doctor, right?? Who’s gonna run the country then? So you know what I wanted to be back in first grade?
A miner.
And I mean, that’s not an awful job in and of itself. I don’t think I’ll ever have the bravery those admirable miners have every time they go to work. But do you know why I wanted to be a miner???
Because I wanna give poor people some of my wealth.
*sigh* The Seven Dwarfs definitely contributed a lot in my way of thinking back then.
I’ve been blinded by old-school shine animation. And look how happy they are!!!
Funny how, when I think about it in retrospect, adults just ask this question because they find children already thinking of their future adorable.
Like six-year-old innocent Kate who is still free of any cynicism in her body.
But over and over, I am asked this question from grade school to high school and even now in college. It may have evolved into different forms the older I get but it’s still the same:
“What do you want to be when you grow up?”
“What’s your ambition?”
“What are you taking in college?”
“What do you do?”
I’m now usually asked the third one. And when I answer Accountancy, it’s always followed by either, “Oh! You’re so smart then!” or “Wow! So you wanna be a CPA someday?”
And the thing is, I don’t think I’m that smart–I’m merely hanging by a thread at this point. And I don’t want to be a CPA. (At least not for long.) This question about my career is always a daunting reminder that I barely have a plan for my future.
See, we’re that consumed on thinking about career. We like to put this kind of expectations to our young folks, reasoning that they have to be ready when they step out into the real world. As if the world we young adults are living right now isn’t the real world.
Related read: I Don’t Think the Real World is Out There
But what if they still don’t know what they want to do? Most likely scenario? They get thrown with so many negative responses.
“What an irresponsible child.”
“Stop being indecisive.”
“You can’t keep playing your whole life, kid.”
“You shouldn’t be wasting your time.”
Don’t you think that seemed…. I don’t know, unfair?
Not everyone is like my sister. Not everyone knows what they want to do. Some of us are still patting our way into this dark maze called life. And you know what?
Not having everything figured out is okay.
And so, if you are also on the verge of wrapping yourself around the same thoughts I mentioned above, here’s what you can think instead:
<3 It’s not irresponsible to not know what you want. Not when the options could be too many for you to handle and you’re overwhelmed.
<3 It may seem indecisive, but I would rather weigh in my options carefully than pick a choice quick.
<3 It’s not playing if you are trying to think real hard about your career.
<3 And how can it be a waste of time when you’re trying to learn more about yourself and what you really want?
The awesome blogger behind Personal Dailies said it best in her post, “Do you know what you want to do yet”. That the first 18 years of life is not usually the ideal time to figure out your One True Calling.
We all go through similar things, sure. But when they would happen and how we would respond to them are all unique to each of us. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with trying everything first before picking out what you really want to do. I’ve come to the conclusion that life is a series of trial and errors.
There is no fix thing or an absolute solution.
And if, along the way, you want to change course, it’s your call. Which is what I’d rather want to do. Instead of thinking about my calling, I’ll just start identifying my call.
Kinda cheesy and lame, I know. But that’s just it. No one–not your family or your friends or the school or even Yoda–can tell you how to live your life or pinpoint to you where to find the answers you need. You only need one person. And that’s you.
TALK TO ME: Do you know what your calling is? Or are you like me and still mulling over your choices? Have you recently discovered your calling? If yeah, would you like to share about it? I would love to hear your thoughts! 🙂
Have an inspired, whistle-while-you-work day, awesome peeps! <3
PS. Google Calendar says today is apparently Book Lovers Day*. So shoutout to my fellow bookworms! What are you reading today? Anyone read any book that taught you something career-related?
Also, here are some other articles on early career decisions for youth. Just to let y’all know that, if you’re feeling it, you’re not alone 🙂
Young people are having to take career decisions too early | The Guardian
The Immense Pressure of Career Choice | Psychology Today
I also shared three reasons why it’s okay not to have everything figured out. You can check that post out here~
*I mean… let’s face it. Everyday is Book Lovers Day, amirite???