Tag: Mindfulness

How to make your daily commute more relaxed and bearable

If you live far from your school or work, then you’re pretty familiar with the life-draining experience that is commuting. You know that feeling when you’re in one heck of a traffic jam, your blood pressure spikes and your stress-level goes from zero to a hundred real quick? Yeah that.

I personally have no qualms on long commutes; my family has always lived far from the city centre and we prefer it that way. But I despise the heavy bumper-to-bumper traffic that comes with commuting.

I hate it with passion.

And when I’m royally pissed while commuting, I’ll bring that mood with me wherever I’ll go. Then I’d be royally pissed at everything for the rest of the day.

How to Make Your Daily Commute More Relaxed and Bearable | Daily commute, relaxed, mindfulness, happiness, stress relief

Let’s be real here: being royally pissed for a whole day can be quite exhausting.

Bad moods drain the life out of you. They exhaust you. And when you’re in one, it’s sometimes pretty hard to get out of it. Daily commute and traffic jams have a way of pushing our buttons, which is why commuting can be so stressful.

The thing is, it doesn’t have to be that way! Your commute time can be peaceful slices of your day, if you want it to. That’s why I always try and make my long commute to and from uni as relaxed and as bearable as I possibly could. Here are some things you can try to have a more relaxed and more bearable daily commute.

6 SIMPLE WAYS TO MAKE YOUR DAILY COMMUTE MORE RELAXING AND BEARABLE

1 | Read a book

This works when the traffic is super heavy and the cars move at, like, less than five centimetres per hour. Reading a book that’s light and in your favorite genre can make the daily commute more enjoyable. If you aren’t into or able to read a book in your commute, then maybe listening to an audiobook would be great for you. (And yes, listening to audiobooks is technically reading! Fayt me.)

2 | Listen to relaxing podcasts

Podcasts and commute are the best combination, you guys! I was a skeptic before, since I love listening to podcasts in a quiet room. But I was a quick convert the moment I listened to some of my favorite podcasts while taking the suuuper long commute to the office I interned in last semester. It made that hours-long travel more bearable. Sometimes, especially when I’m listening to Straight and Curly, I’d have to bite back a laugh. Talk about bringing good mood to where you’ll go!

3 | Do small craft work

This one, I’ve never personally done during my commute. But one time, there was this fellow passenger in front of me who was crocheting while we were in a traffic jam. She looked absolutely cozy and relaxed while doing it, too! There are also fellow artists who bring a small sketchbook with them so they can sketch while commuting. If you’re into small craft works like crocheting and art, you can totally do this! These are definitely small yet absolutely fun activities you can do in your daily commute.

4 | Be present (and listen to Sargant)

Being present, especially in an often stress-filled environment like the middle of heavy traffic, can be extremely difficult. And I’d like to give a special side eye to those impatient drivers who toot their horns like some entitled trolls and horribly adding to the already noise-polluted situation. We all want to get out of this traffic, Benjamin.

I recently came across Ash Sargant, this man who created ten-minute tracks of the BEST ambient music I’ve ever heard. What he did, in my opinion, was extraordinary.

Sargant believed that one of the reasons why we find our commutes super stressful is because we associate the usual sounds we hear during a commute – the footsteps, the car horns, the engines – with stress. So he recorded calming music tracks using traffic, escalators, footsteps on cement floor, and all other mundane sounds that we usually find annoying. This particular track, Big Departure, is my favorite.

5 | Practice mindfulness

I don’t practice mindfulness regularly but the times that I did, it never fails me. One simple mindfulness exercise I do while commuting is picking up four things that I can sense with four of my senses. So, four things I can see, smell, feel and hear. I usually don’t include taste. If mindfulness meditation seems hard for you, there are also short guided meditation podcasts, like Chel Hamilton’s Meditation Minis podcast, and apps like Headspace that you can listen to.

6 | Catch up on sleep

By far, this is my favorite thing to do while commuting. And as someone who can sleep on, like, any-freakin-where, this comes easy-peasy for me. It’s great too, since I don’t have to awkwardly look at that window pane in between the two passengers in front of me. Catching up on sleep during your commute is fantastic especially if you didn’t have much time to sleep in the past few days.

Do you take long commutes everyday? What do you do to make your daily commute more relaxing and more bearable?

xx Kate

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6 Simple Ways to Make Your daily Commute More Relaxed and Bearable | Lifestyle, stress relief, mental health, happiness
PS. I have a Pinterest board for stress relief and another one for mindfulness and mediation. Check them out!

Three Key Steps to Challenge Unhelpful Negative Self-Talk

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Most of us have been mentally talking to ourselves for our whole lives. We’ve started doing this the second we learned about words and their meanings and how meaningful – and powerful – words could be.

And often these are the kinds of self-talk we engage in:

Stop that.

You don’t know what you’re doing.

You don’t know anything.

You’re worthless.

How to Challenge Negative Self-Talk | Personal growth, Mental Health, Life tips, Inner critic, Personal development, Self-improvement, Healthy mind

I’m going to take a guess this is the kind of self-talk you have, too. The cautious ones. The wary ones. The doubtful ones. Negative self-talk.

How Negative Self-Talk Developed

I read an article somewhere that says the negative self-talk dominating our minds got its root, first and foremost, from our parents. You know how as kids we were always told to keep away from this and that because it’s dangerous? To keep quiet and let the adults talk? To not disturb the old lady across the street? To not disturb anyone?

I’m sure our parentals had good intentions. They were only trying to teach us good manners. But as children with inner worlds still developing, we absorb everything handed to us. We’re basically Spongebobs! As we grow and take in and process the world we see with our eyes, our inner world is building itself too. And all those loving cautions and wariness and doubt?

They embed themselves into our mental blueprint quite early on. Soon enough, we find out there are societal expectations and standards that the rest of the world somehow follow. These too embed themselves into our mind. And, lo and behold, our own little inner critic is born. Kinda like a Powerpuff Girl, don’t you think? And actually,

The Power of Negative Self-Talk

There are studies that have proven constant negative self-talk leads to increased stress, and worst case scenario, anxiety and depression.

Negative self-talk can limit you. It holds you back from your true potential, and get this, it can be self-fulfilling. You constantly tell yourself you’re not good enough to do or be something, chances are you’ll talk yourself out of even trying.

The worst part is that negative self-talk can do all these in sneaky-ninja style. Self-talk is habitual and it happens so fast, you won’t be able to consciously catch everything. But your subconscious does, and it absorbs everything it catches. You may live your life unaware that your self-talk is actually hurting you and affecting the way you see yourself. So here are 3 key steps to challenge negative self-talk.

HOW TO DEAL WITH
NEGATIVE SELF-TALK IN THREE KEY STEPS

1 | Be Mindful

Notice what you mentally say to yourself every day. Negative self-talk is a sneaky ninja so being able to suss it out and feel its presence is important. Being mindful of your thought process and what goes on in your head will help in this. I learned that negative self-talk often appears in either one of these three scenarios:

When you encounter something new. It could be a new face or a new challenge or a new idea. Negative self-talk is wary of changes and new things. I’d even go far and say, it’s afraid of change and new things. Which is why it pops out whenever there’s one, and it will do everything in its power so you won’t go anywhere near the change or the new thing.

When your self-worth is being measured. It could be submitting an art for an art contest. It could be passing a major exam. It could be talking to your boss about a project you were assigned for. It could be as simple as picking the outfit of the day. Depending on what you feel measures your self-worth, negative self-talk will be there to criticize you.

When you’re in a stressful situations. We are often at our most vulnerable when we’re in a stressful situation. And sneaky ninjas like your negative self-talk are trained to sneak in on other people in order to get their job done.

It can appear in other scenarios too. And by becoming more aware of your thoughts, you’ll be able to spot negative self-talk before it can do anything else. Besides, ninjas do their work best when they are able to sneak in. Take that element of surprise out of its hands with mindfulness. Rachael Kable is my go-to for anything mindfulness. Her blog and her podcast, The Mindful Kind, is jam-packed with tips and advice on living a more mindful life.

2 | Know Negative Self-Talk’s Worth

Ask yourself: Is this negative self-talk factual or farfetch? Does it matter now and will it matter in five years? Is it helpful to what I want to achieve or is it hurting me? Is this something I’d say to a friend?

That last one in particular is something I find incredibly helpful.

I mean, think about it. When your friend goes to you saying, “I don’t think I can do this.” What do you do? You encourage them. You motivate them. You tell them, yes you can. You definitely don’t go, “Yeah you’re right. Don’t do it.” But isn’t it so weird that we treat ourselves differently?

We expect more highly of ourselves, yet we also know our flaws and imperfections far more than we know anyone else’s. Which is why we’re so harsh. This is exactly what negative self-talk thrives on. So if it’s factual, if it matters, if it’s helpful and if it’s loving, then the negative self-talk is good in a way. But more often than not, the opposite is true. Be sure that it ticks all the boxes.

3 | Create Reframing Exercises Regularly

Reframing your unhelpful negative self-talk is important if you want to challenge it, and ultimately deal with it in a healthier way. You can do this by changing your mindset, journaling, even talking to a friend or maybe a professional. I find that Tim Ferriss’ Fear-Setting is also helpful here, if you’re all for practical and visual way of dealing with negative self-talk.

The key here is to do it regularly. You may never get rid of negative self-talk completely. And you don’t have to! You just have to practice dealing with it and reframing it with something more helpful and more loving. After all, the only way to deal with sneaky ninjas is by constantly practicing your own defenses and counterattacks.

You got this! I believe in you.

How do you deal with negative self-talk? Have I missed out on something incredibly helpful? Share it in the comments below!

xx Kate

How to Challenge Unhelpful Negative Self-Talk | Personal growth, Mindset, Mental Health, Self-Talk, Inner Critic, Self-Improvement
Photos from Light & Grace (via Creative Market) and Ivory Mix

A Simple Self-Care Idea for a Healthy, Positive Mindset

How to Have a Positive Mindset (using a simple mental self-care idea) | Personal Growth, Mindfulness, Mental Health, Meditation

A friendly note from your resident potato:

This is a guest post written by Ellen of If It Brings You Joy. Below, she shared an awesome idea I want to try out for myself 🙂 You can also check out what I’ve written on her blog here. And, you know, scroll through her blog while you’re there 😉

Okay, onto the post.


How to Have a Positive Mindset (using a simple mental self-care idea) | Personal Growth, Mindfulness, Mental Health, MeditationWhen was the last time you took time to do nothing? Absolutely, sweet nothing? (Scrolling through your email or Facebook feed does not qualify as doing nothing!)

Sometimes we let our lives get so busy that we forget to take time for a little self-care for our mind. “Mental” self-care is easy and really doesn’t require much time, and you deserve the benefits that this type of self-care will bring to you.

The focus of a healthy lifestyle is often about eating healthy and being physically active. Of course those two aspects are important to have a healthy lifestyle, but just as important is being mentally (or emotionally) healthy. Yet, exercising our mind is often overlooked in the quest for better health.

A healthy positive mindset gives us a boost for being better able to handle everything life brings our way. Self-care for the mind promotes the ability to focus. And building your ability to focus will help you be able to respond instead of react to a situation because you’ll be in the mindset that enables you to think.

Related: 5 Reasons Why I Chose to Have a Positive Mindset

It will ultimately lead to a decrease in stress and increase in joyful living. And you’ll be better equipped to fully recognize and appreciate the big and little joys of life. #Win.

31-Day Self-Care Challenge for a Healthy, Positive Mindset

Even though self-care for your mind aims to slow your thought, in the end it will help increase momentum of your positive thoughts that will move you to a more appreciative, joyful life. Don’t underestimate your power to get yourself on a path of a healthier, positive mindset. Get started today on your path by taking my 31-Day Self-Care Challenge!

It’s really very simple: give yourself permission to do nothing AND enjoy it! Here’s how:

  • Sit in a comfy chair, on the floor, at your office desk, or anywhere that’s convenient. You can be in your home, office, or even out in nature. Sometimes I sit in my car in a parking lot!
  • Now, slow your mind and try to stop all thought. As thoughts come into your mind, simply guide your mind back to a state of rest. At first it may be challenging to stop thought. However, the more you practice, the easier it will be to keep your mind clear.
  • Oh, you don’t have time? No problem! This challenge requires only 5 minutes per day. Set a timer (available on any smartphone) so you don’t worry about the time. If you’re inspired, gradually increase the amount of time you give your brain a break. Work your way up to 20 minutes on days that allow you the time. Just try to do the minimum of 5 minutes every day for the full 31 days.

And that’s it!

If you take the time out of your busy life to slow down and commit to this challenge for 31 days, I suspect you will be hooked because you’ll feel better. You’ll realize that by slowing your mind for a few minutes a day, you’ll be a more relaxed person.

As your mind slows, you’ll gain more focus and clarity that will help you make choices that lead to the life you want for yourself.

Even though you may be feeling stressed because life is busy and there’s not enough time in the day to get everything done, taking time to slow your mind will actually help you get more done. You’ll gain the focus and clarity needed to think clearly and have a positive frame of mind. With those two things going for you, you’ll find yourself in a more relaxed, de-stressed mindset.

You might be thinking that this sounds a lot like meditation, and you’re right!

Meditation often gets a bad rap because people think it’s all about sitting in an awkward position with the thumb and finger pressed together. But in reality, meditation is whatever you want it to be.

There are no hard rules, you just need to slow your mind. Call it what you want, just take the time to do it and reap the benefits.

Self-Care-For-Healthy-Mindset

I’ll leave you with this quote by Doe Zantamata, author of the two-book series, Happiness in Your Life. Take my challenge, and may your mind be calmed so you are able to put things into perspective. Life is going to happen and we can’t control it all. But by being better equipped to put things into perspective, you’ll be on your way to a more joyful life.


About the author:

Blog author, Ellen Burgan Ellen Burgan from If It Brings You Joy has a passion to practice and inspire others to lead a positive, healthful lifestyle. She shares strategies for building good daily habits, breaking bad ones, and ultimately becoming your best, joyful self. Ellen also has 30+ years of experience as a business analyst.


The two gorgeous photos above are by Allie Smith. If you’d like to guest post on my blog, let’s talk! 🙂

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What I Tell Myself When I’m Hesitant on Moving Forward

What I Do When I Hesitate on Moving Forward | We all have been in that "pause" moment just as you're about to step forward. I share what I do when it happens.

It could be as trivial as taking a shower at four in the morning when the water’s ice cold. Or maybe a step forward to personal development like making the first move at befriending someone (if you’re shy like I am that’s a huge leap).

OR, it could be something monumentally life-changing like changing career paths or being honest with myself.

What I Do When I Hesitate on Moving Forward | We all have been in that "pause" moment just as you're about to step forward. I share what I do when it happens.

There are–and will be–moments in your life when you’re standing at a pause. Maybe you’re standing at the edge of a cliff, or facing a forked path. The gist is: once you take a step, there’s no going back. You won’t be the same person as you were before. Because even the slightest change in you makes a different you.

Believe me, I know. I’ve been there. I’ve been in an edge or a fork several times now; I expect I will be several times more in the future. And I tell myself something when I’m at that “pause” phase. So what’s that?

“You can do this, Kate.”

Just that one line. Really.

I only noticed this recently, like several weeks ago. But I know I’ve been saying it too myself a lot. (Especially at four in the morning :D) For some reason, giving myself a mini cheer is, oftentimes, all the motivation I need. There’s something utterly wonderful at being your own best cheerleader.

I am the one pushing me forward.

Do you have a mantra that helps you move forward?

Happy Saturday, awesome peeps!

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