I initially wrote an intro here, reflecting about my year. But as I wrote it, I found it made more sense to end the post on its note. So let’s get onto the list first:(more…)
Hello hello! It’s the first day of June where I’m from which means my hobby purchase ban has officially taken place.(more…)
“You’ll be next, Kate.”
My friend said happily as we gathered together, catching up over dinner. Just a minute ago, everyone was gushing over their happy announcement of finally being in a relationship. Now, the whole table’s attention shifted towards me. The only single person in our little group.(more…)
I really went ahead and said “Posting in -ber months? NOT THIS YEAR.”
You could literally see last year’s recap posts in the main page of this blog akskskssk
I guess this is simply me not sharing my life online less. And not just that but also treating them like “content” less. “Optimizing” them less. Putting out stuff to be “relevant” less.
Almost five years ago, when I was happily discovering watercolors for the first time, a family member silently looked over my shoulder, glanced at what I was painting and asked a question I feel like anyone who have spent significant time on any hobby gets asked often:
“Why don’t you sell that?”
Don’t you think it’s funny how the start of the decade feels like a whole entire decade? (insert skull emoji)
And like many of you, boy am I Glad 2020 is done.
Still… it feels improper to bid the year adieu without a little review.(more…)
Scrolling through Reader, I came across an intriguing blog post from a blogger I looked up to my whole blogging life. It was about how the blogosphere had drastically changed from what it was 5, 10 years ago.(more…)
One of the first challenges I encountered when I started working from home was – well… distinguishing work from home.(more…)
I was cleaning up the files on my phone and saw this two-year-old Word document with several short essays on it. One of these essays are the one you will be reading below. I chose this one specifically because… well, I did just talk about having my hair cut in a recent post (which I published last February but I digress).
I have this philosophy I apply with my art process.
The idea goes like this: The simple cure of an art block can either be a thorough cleaning of all your palettes and brushes, or staying away from the drawing board for a while.
What I’ve been trying to learn the past several months – the past couple years even – is knowing when to clean and when to step away. When to listen to my body and when to be stubborn.
Because sometimes when your body says “I’m tired. I don’t want to draw,” you listen to it. And other times, you don’t. Because maybe your body is tired and needs to rest, or maybe it just needs a little push.
Several days ago, I spent an entire evening cleaning my old palettes and water brushes. I probably spent more than an hour by our kitchen sink squeezing out the red watercolor stain out of one water brush. But that’s fine – time feels slow and forgiving when you’ve got nowhere to go like these past month.
I stood there silently. It’s already dry season now, where I’m from, and the nights are sweltering. I could feel a drop of sweat sliding down from my chin to my neck, the fan ventilating my brother by the dining table barely reached me.
Remembering that particular scene several days ago, that particular moment, I could liken it to cleansing your life or your head space. How much work it is. How heavy and uncomfortable you could feel while doing it. How it takes a while before the stain comes off completely (if they even do) and you return to a squeaky clean start.
Sometimes, cleaning up the messes around you is all you need to do to keep your sanity intact.
And sometimes, you are too overwhelmed to even clean them up. So much so, that all you can do is step away from them. Remove them from your view – if only for a moment.
I’ve been through both times. Heck, I’ve even been through both times at the same time.
When it comes to both my art and life and my mental well-being, I still don’t know the telltales of when to persist and when to quit.
All I could do right now is to listen, and to try.
It has been a heck of a long time since I published a short pondering type of post. It’s weird to not care about readability or the SEO. I’m trying my best to ignore it hnggg.
I honestly don’t know when I would write another one of these – maybe immediately after this one or maybe four years after.
That said, I hope I too made you ponder, even for a while. And I hope you are safe and well wherever you may be.