How to Heal Your Discouraged Heart After a Missed Opportunity

You know how they say you need to grab an opportunity once you see it? Well bugger, sometimes it’s easier said than done.

Summer last year, I was on the ProBlogger Job Board searching for potential work as a freelance writer. I saw this job for a positivity blog and I’m like

this is my moment anna kendrick gif

So I wrote an email to the owner of the website and… completely forgot about it.

At that time, my grandfather was having consecutive nose bleeding and we were all worried. Anything beyond what was happening was shoved to the back of my mind. It was two days later when I got to check my email again. The positivity blogger had replied, interested (like “I think you’d be a great addition to our writing team” interested) but I didn’t respond so he found a different one.

A missed opportunity, among many things, is both discouraging disheartening.

I mean, off the top of your head, what missed opportunity can you think of?

  • That job promotion you’ve been working on for months was postponed.
  • A classmate already submitted a project idea similar to the amazingly brilliant one you’ve formulated just minutes earlier.
  • The only book you still don’t have in a series was on a big sale. AND THE LAST COPY IS IN THE HANDS OF SOMEONE ELSE ALREADY IN THE COUNTER.*
  • And like 96000** other examples that I’m too lazy to enumerate.

How do you feel about them? Discouraged? Heartbroken? Heartbreakingly discouraged? Like you’ve gone total Eeyore mode and thought there’s no use working hard because the opportunity is gone already?

Image result for eeyore there's no use gif

Yeah, that’s how I felt.

In. Every. Freakin. Missed Opportunities.

But I decided to change my way of responding to missed opportunities. I guess you could say it was one of the positive mindset exercises that I did while on a heckuva long break last year. And here are the things I did.

Just so y’all know, these are the things I did for myself. I never guarantee they work the same way for other people. Because as I always say, we are all unique individuals. 🙂 I hope you’ll take something away from this, still 🙂 Enjoy!

*And you just know that person doesn’t need it as much as you do, right?
**Please tell me someone actually knew that?

How to Heal Your Discouraged Heart After a Missed Opportunity | Missed opportunity means a discouraged heart. I share my 4-step cure to heal that heart.

Step 1 | Suck it up and absorb the blow

Let that discouraged feeling settle onto you. Run through it on every angle. Let yourself feel every awful thing that you can possibly think of feeling at times like these. Break down if you must, especially when it’s a huge opportunity. Use up an entire box of tissues or four. Just… let it all out.

I have this mantra, “Absorb everything now, squeeze them out later.” And I do squeeze them all out.

See, there’s nothing good about bottling things up. Bottling up can make you feel physically heavier. I should know: I was once the Queen of Bottling Up*. So if you feel awful or you’re upset, find a channel to let all that out. It’s better to do it now. Kinda like when you’re cleaning fresh wound, you know?

*It was part of my Puberty Angst Package apparently

Step 2 | Accept the loss

After sucking it up and letting the possible waterworks run its course, accept the loss.

It’s called ‘missed’ for a reason. Being glum about it won’t help you in any way. It’s kinda like bottling things up. And hoarding those negative emotions is never good for your health. In fact, it may just affect you badly. One thing that may come out of not being able to move on from a missed opportunity is cynicism.

And I get it, acceptance can be hard to accomplish. Especially when you’re trying to accept something awful like a missed opportunity. This is why I drain out all the awful feeling firsthand. It makes the accepting part easier.

Step 3 | List the bright side

Yes, I know. That is such a cliché phrase. But when I say bright side, I don’t just mean to look at the good things that happened when you missed an opportunity. I really mean list them down. Often, it’s the experience and the lessons that I’ve learned that are the good things. And I’d either mentally list them down or write them.

In the case of the positivity blogging opportunity, here were the lessons and mental-notes I made:

+ Make gmail app notify you of new mails every 15 minutes
+ Create a habit of checking email at least once a day
+ But don’t be too addicted to it, mkay? 🙂
+ Lesson 1: Always know that there are other fishes in the sea, and you’re not the only qualified person for a job. Which is why…
+ Lesson 2: You work harder to be indispensible

Listing down the lessons and the mental-notes you’ve learned also helps you to see the light in an awful situation as missing an opportunity. PLUS! This can also help you move on from said opportunity. #Win

Step 4 | Remind yourself that it’s not the end of the world

The thing is: when we think of opportunities, we instantly assume they are hard to come by. Like one is an extremely rare purple jackalope that you must chase to the ends of the earth to catch. And if you don’t catch them you go:

Image result for sad gif

Yes, opportunities aren’t common. But they aren’t so rare that missing one meant you’ll never see another again. Opportunities are like (hold on, let me think of an analogy—okay I got it!) blue whales.

They’re huge and precious and not something you’ll see every day. Know where to find one and work your butt off to achieve and see them. And even when you’re already there working very hard and you still got zilch, stay patient.

You might just get gloriously splashed.

Your turn! How do you heal your discouraged heart after missing an opportunity? Share your story below!

Have an awesome day, awesome peeps! <3


This is an awesome post! Right now I’m thinking of the time when I COULD’VE gotten to meet Leigh Bardugo but 1) the line was long and the parentals were impatient, and 2) the people RIGHT BEHIND ME got a VIP pass to cut all lines (because they were the last in line at the time). I was devastated but now I ACCEPTED THE LOSS. And then got to meet another author. XD

(And yes, Puberty Angst Package. PAP. XD)

ignitedmoth says:

Awesome post! It’s so easy to become discouraged after a missed opportunity so I love posts like this. <3 I saw another one from blogger The Shameful Narcissist recently about channeling your disappointment into creativity. She was talking about having all the things she'd need to work on an artsy project so that if a rejection to a submission came her way she'd have something to work on rather than just wallowing in disappointment. 🙂
I especially love your idea for actually listing out the good things that came from it. I'm definitely going to use that in the future.
Also, that Lemongrab gif is amazing. hahaha

Leigh Bardugo is amazing though!!! And I got to meet Ally Carter. 😉

Kate says:

Amen to that! AND WOW THAT’S AMAZING! I’ve always wanted to meet her. (Tho who are we kidding?? We all want to meet ALL the authors of the books we love)

Omg yes. Like I would LOOOOVE to meet all these amazing authors!!! But also dread it. Because I’d make a fool of myself.

This is so true and such relevant advice to pretty much everyone! If anything, missing an opportunity can be the most frustrating thing in the world. I’m definitely going to make a note of this wisdom, Kate! Xx

[…] instead, of what lessons you could take away from failing. Remember that 4-step cure I shared for missed opportunities? Missed opportunities are kinda like failures too. And it always helps to see that even the most […]

indishe says:

Its an awesome post!
And the guide to positive thinking is amazing.
I loved it.
Do check out indishe and give your feedback

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