Why It’s Okay to Not Have Everything Figured Out
This is actually an old post that I kinda made a huge overhaul on. Still have the same points as its older version 😉
Do you have that person in your school or workplace or neighborhood? That smart-Sheldon who won the chess tournament or happy-go-lucky-Larry who won employee of the year or Tracy-girl-next-door who baked the chocolate pie that got the highest-bid.
They have this light in them. Their sureness and confidence blind you, make you look away.
And then there’s you. A helium balloon. Floating aimlessly and letting yourself be carried away by circumstances. You look at them again and you think, “Man, they have everything figured out, don’t they?”
Yo that’s me too. The helium balloon. And you know what? I’m okay. It’s okay to not have everything figured out right now. Here’s why.
There are still so much to discover
The world around you extends beyond your reach. Think about that. There are still so many things beyond what you see in front of you and you can’t possibly know all of them all at once. There are simply so much more for you to discover. And not only around and beyond what you see; even inside you.
If you’re a fellow young adult, I’m willing to bet there are still parts of yourself that you don’t know much about.
And friend, that’s completely okay!
Like Shrek famously said, we have layers (although, I know he meant ogres. But c’mon! Even humans do right???) We’ve barely scratched the surface of who we are.
I like to think that the teenage years and early-twenties of your life are the time for self-discovery. This is when you’re starting to get a grasp of every bit of you—who you are and what inspires you and what you aspire to be.
So go ahead. Give yourself permission to explore both your outer and inner worlds.
We all have our own paces
So we’ve already agreed no one has it all figured out, right?
Well sometimes, it’s not accepting this fact that’s difficult. It’s believing this is true for you. It’s believing that it’s not necessary for you to have everything figured out right now. This is incredibly difficult to acknowledge, I know.
Whenever I think of where I am in my life at the moment, I always (always) end up comparing myself to others. It’s an annoying habit that I’m trying to end. Because it ends up with me thinking, “I should be at this point in my life right now” or “What am I doing wrong?” or “Just give up; this isn’t for me.”
Total killer of your self-esteem, I tell you.
I took a time off school last year and during the five months that I was away, I learned a whole new kind of scary things. But it was also during those five months that I learned I wasn’t part of any “rat race”.
I wasn’t “falling behind.”
I was, and am, simply trudging through life in my own pace, period. It took me going back to uni to have that registered in my brain, ya know. We should totally learn from turtles and sloths. They’re incredibly slow right? But what if they’re only incredibly slow in our perspective? Maybe they thrive at that pace. And thrive they certainly do. Just like how cheetahs thrive being the fastest animal on land.
We all run our lives at different paces. Quick or slow, it doesn’t matter so long as you reach your goal and have enjoyed the journey to get there.
You’ve got time
This relates to being at your own pace.
See, I think we have this belief that time is constantly slipping away from our hands. As if we need to achieve a certain number of things at a certain amount of time.
I mean look at Alexander Hamilton (why does he write like he’s running out of time?)
But don’t get me wrong, I’m all for making specific attainable goals. In fact I like making these kinds of tiny goals. The problem arises when we try to place ourselves in “standards.” Like by thirty years old you have to start thinking about starting a family. Um, no thanks?
Young adults, especially, are placed in immense pressure to think about their careers by age fifteen, some even younger. My family, bless them, never really put me and my siblings under pressure. My mom would always say, “Pssh don’t think too much about it. You’ll know it when you know it.” But society isn’t as kind, we all know that.
The point is, most teenagers are still patting our way in this maze called life. We take a wrong turn here and arrive at a dead-end there. We’re still starting to grasp life. Still identifying the many options laid out for us. It seems unfair to expect us to have it all figured out already, don’t you think?
I’m jealous of those awesome peeps who stride through their lives at a brisk, sure pace. In a way, they motivate me to be surer of every step I take. But because of that, I also empathize to those who are uncertain like me.
If you beat yourself up over not having things figured out, stop it. Here’s the truth, in its unfiltered un-sugarcoated state:
No one really has it all figured out. Not even Sheldon or Larry or Tracy. No matter how much it looks like they do.
Instead of wallowing up in self-pity (and I know firsthand how hard this part is) find comfort in knowing that you are not alone.
So here’s what you can do:
Give yourself permission to explore your world, the inner and outer ones. And, in your own pace, pat your way around the maze. Stop looking over how Sheldon or Larry or Tracy. This is a maze made especially for you. And finding your way through it is not going to be an overnight process.
It will definitely take time and dozens of wrong-turns and detours. But you’ll be fine. You got this.
Maybe you would get there. Maybe you wouldn’t. But on the way, you’ll pick up lessons and new experiences. Treasure those more and learn from them, because these are what you’ll be carrying with you to your next destination, wherever that will be.
Your turn: What are you working on at the moment? What’s happening in your life right now? Share it with me in the comments below! 🙂
Hey guys! I just wanted to let y’all know that starting October (aka tomorrow), I will only be posting on Saturdays. I want to give away some time to fully participate in Inktober so yeah 🙂 Don’t worry! I will still be active here (interacting with other blogs and dropping embarrassing fangirling comments) and on social media. I’m reconnecting with Bloglovin so if you have one, share ’em below so I can follow you, okay? Okay!
Hope y’all have an awesome October and see you all next Saturday! 😉
Great post! I’ve had a very stressful week and I really needed to hear this, or rather read this.
[…] a confession: I am uncertain about what path my life would take. I don’t have specific goals or ambitions. No “I will be working in a corporate with my own […]
This was a great post!
Another thought I had was when opertunity comes, take it.
I knew you would like my thought, Cate!
[…] Why It’s Okay to Not Have Everything Figured Out […]
Currently, I’m actually struggling a lot with college. Classes are harder than I anticipated and I’m just trying to find my footing. You’re right, there’s definitely a temptation to look at the success of others and, consequently, lose our own self esteem. The goal is to just focus on yourself and what you can do to make yourself better. You’re competing with yourself, not other people. “Comparison is the thief of joy,” as President Roosevelt once said.
Thank you Kate for this <3 I think it's good to know we have time, some of us take life as it goes, AT OUR OWN PACE. i swear all your posts are like the best reminders ever <3 It's like they always come to me when I need them the most. I have no idea what I want to have as a career and I'm still figuring things out AND THAT's!! OKAY!!
This is a great post! I definitely think there’s so much pressure put on young people. Like at the age of 15-16 you need to have an idea of what you want to do when you get older so you can choose the right school and direction to go in after graduation, but I mean, how are we supposed to know that? It terrifies a lot of people, I know it terrifies me, because what if we make the wrong choice? I think you’re so right when you write that accepting your own pace can bring a lot of peace to your life. I might not know the direction I’m going in, my sister does and both are perfectly okay 🙂
Fantastic post! <3 There's so much pressure out there to follow the same general path as everyone else, and it's a shame because there are so many paths we can take (and at our own pace) to enrich our lives. It's so sad too because it makes so many people feel "lost" or like they don't measure up to their peers. I've been there myself, and it's a rotten way to feel, so thank you for making such an important and wonderful post. <3
This is EVERYTHING!!! 😀 You know what? From some time ago, I’ve been kind of stressing myself out because I don’t know EXACTLY what I wanna do in the future, but I’m just 15, right? Also, your reasons are great, thank you so much for writing this!!!!! 😀 <3
Yous posts are always so inspirational and cheerful!!
Well I guess we’ll see!! You’re welcome!
I agree. You just have to do it:)
Aha thank you Kate! That’s so sweet of you <3
I totally agree we don’t all have to have it “figured out”. I mean, other people look like they do but does ANYONE TRULY!?? I think society pushes us to all run at the same pace but it’s unrealistic and not even health for us. We need to do our lives at our pace. Lovely post!
No problem!!!! 😀
Argh!!!!! That touched my heart, SO MUCH!!!!! 🙂 Thank you so so much, I think you made my week, thank you!!!!! <3 <3 You're the best and you deserve the best!!!!!!! 😀
Gorsh Ana, YOU made my week <3 <3 Thank you so much and keep on making people smile, yeah? <3
This is such an amazing and comforting post!! I’m smol and I always feel like I’M RUNNING OUT OF TIMEEE (thx Hamilton for being so quotable and all around amazing). From now on I shall remind myself of sloths and feel better. Actually taking my time with things is way more enjoyable and I think it fits me a lot better. Figuring things out takes literally a life time so why should I pressure myself in doing it now. Thank you for the lovely reminder!!
(And have fun doing Inktober!!)