Tag: Mental Health

OK Let’s Talk: On Feeling the Suck and empathy

two persons hugging

Okay, let’s talk.

If your idea of “comforting” someone is through invalidating any frustrations or negative feelings they have at the moment? That ain’t it, chief.

The first step to empathy, I find, is by acknowledging the fact that sucky things happen.

 

(more…)

brush cleaning

I have this philosophy I apply with my art process.

The idea goes like this: The simple cure of an art block can either be a thorough cleaning of all your palettes and brushes, or staying away from the drawing board for a while.

What I’ve been trying to learn the past several months – the past couple years even – is knowing when to clean and when to step away. When to listen to my body and when to be stubborn.

Because sometimes when your body says “I’m tired. I don’t want to draw,” you listen to it. And other times, you don’t. Because maybe your body is tired and needs to rest, or maybe it just needs a little push.

Several days ago, I spent an entire evening cleaning my old palettes and water brushes. I probably spent more than an hour by our kitchen sink squeezing out the red watercolor stain out of one water brush. But that’s fine – time feels slow and forgiving when you’ve got nowhere to go like these past month.

I stood there silently. It’s already dry season now, where I’m from, and the nights are sweltering. I could feel a drop of sweat sliding down from my chin to my neck, the fan ventilating my brother by the dining table barely reached me.

Remembering that particular scene several days ago, that particular moment, I could liken it to cleansing your life or your head space. How much work it is. How heavy and uncomfortable you could feel while doing it. How it takes a while before the stain comes off completely (if they even do) and you return to a squeaky clean start.

Sometimes, cleaning up the messes around you is all you need to do to keep your sanity intact.

And sometimes, you are too overwhelmed to even clean them up. So much so, that all you can do is step away from them. Remove them from your view – if only for a moment.

I’ve been through both times. Heck, I’ve even been through both times at the same time.

When it comes to both my art and life and my mental well-being, I still don’t know the telltales of when to persist and when to quit.

All I could do right now is to listen, and to try.


Hello friends,

It has been a heck of a long time since I published a short pondering type of post. It’s weird to not care about readability or the SEO. I’m trying my best to ignore it hnggg.

I honestly don’t know when I would write another one of these – maybe immediately after this one or maybe four years after.

That said, I hope I too made you ponder, even for a while. And I hope you are safe and well wherever you may be.

Kate

We Need To Get Better at Asking for What We Need

When I read that sentence on a newsletter I subscribed in, I felt like someone suddenly turned the light on me. Like I could finally see the world clearly and in full Technicolor.

Is this a problem I struggle with? Heck yes.

I’m the type of person who would gladly help others, however much I could. But when I’m the one at the asking end, things are a-whole-nother potato salad:
I am SO not comfortable asking other people for help.

Just saying that, admitting that to the ethers where other people can read it, is giving me the heebie-jeebies. Maybe it’s my pride that’s stopping me. Maybe it’s because I feel I’d be imposing too much if I ask for help. Maybe it’s both plus a hundred other internal complications like low self-esteem and high self-doubt. But there it is.

Why You Need to Get Better at Asking for What You Need | #personalgrowth #mindset #happiness #mentalhealth

We’ve all had this feeling, I like to think. It may not be as severe as mine, but I’m sure you’ve gone through this to a certain degree. I mean, you wouldn’t have clicked on this post if you haven’t, right?

I find teens and young adults usually find it difficult to ask for help. I was definitely one of those teens – still am one of those young adults.

But even when you’re an adult (or #adulting), you may still have some difficulty asking for help.

Why is it so difficult?

Well, the short answer for this is a word you’ve probably come across a lot if you’ve been reading my blog for a while:

FEAR.

Having trouble asking for help stems from a lot of causes but the main root is often fear. Your fear may be a different kind of fear from others’, but it’s fear all the same. Here are three common ways fear may hinder you from asking what you need:

Fear of Showing Vulnerability

Asking for help is one of the most vulnerable things you can do in front of someone else. And people avoid looking vulnerable like the plague. Which is probably why it feels so uncomfortable.

Fear of Breaking Your Perceived Image

We like to think that we are fully capable of facing our problems on our own. Again, this could be because we don’t want to seem weak or vulnerable (which are two different things, by the way!)

Fear of Rejection

When you ask for something, there’s like a 50-50 chance you’d probably be rejected. It’s a “Sure thing!” or an “I’m sorry, I can’t” kind of question. Often I find myself skewing that 50-50 odds. I’m super focused in the worst-case scenario (i.e., getting rejected), I have zero reason to believe that people will actually reason.

Fear gets the best of everyone. And I mean every-freakin-one. And letting fear hinder you from asking for help, is also letting fear hinder your growth.

3 Reasons Why You Need to Get Better at Asking for What You Need | personal growth, mindset, happiness, lifestyle

WHY YOU NEED TO GET BETTER AT ASKING FOR HELP

1. You can’t do everything on your own

You may feel like some kind of superhuman who do not need to ask for help. But here’s the thing: Even computers can’t do things on their own.

The computer or tablet or phone that you’re using to read this right now also has limited capacity. It’ll be even less capable without the Internet and added storage.

Even world-famous people like Michael Phelps and Steve Jobs and Arianna Huffington and Oprah didn’t achieve what they have achieved completely on their own. Even their triumphs and successes are a product of the many hands and minds of people who’ve influenced them or worked with and for them along the way. Even my blog is a product of the tons of help I got, both directly and indirectly.

This isn’t to say that this blog isn’t entirely my work. It totally is! But all throughout this wonderfully journey, I’ve learned a thing or twenty from people in some way or another. And we all do!

2. People want to help you

It sounds ridiculous. And sometimes, I still can’t wrap myself around this “ridiculous notion”. But it’s true. People want to help you. They really do. (Dum-dee-doo.)

The trick here is, they won’t really know how they can help… if we don’t tell them. And we’ve already established that (scroll back up) we rarely do.

A friend of mine once shared to me that she had a grudge on a friend of hers. All because her friend did not do something that she “thought was pretty obvious” she needed.

The problem with thinking this way is that this is wrong most of the time.

Like when I thought that smudge of paint on my artwork was super obvious and is totally ruining the entire piece but my mom didn’t see squat. She didn’t understand why I was so upset because the reason was invisible to her.

I’ve learned that what seems completely, totally, undeniably obvious to me is most likely completely, totally, undeniably unnoticeable to others

3. You open yourself up

Sometimes we’re so afraid to ask for help because of the scary possibility of getting a no. That we might get rejected.

But like I said, people want to help you! There was this study that found people actually get help twice as much as they thought they would. This only goes to show that people want to be helpful and feel useful, but we think otherwise.

Think about it: isn’t that why you love to help others?

I know that’s why I love to help. Because I want to be helpful and feel useful.

When you ask for help, you’re telling people they can help you. You’re telling people you are open to learning from them. You’re telling people that you are human and you don’t have everything figure out (which is totally okay!) You’re telling them you need help. And that you want to rely on them.

In doing so, you are not weak. Or incompetent. Or unworthy. You just need support. Nothing wrong with that.

I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!

What do you need? Let us help you! 🙂

xx Kate

Photo from Ivory Mix

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Do you have difficulty asking for help? Same. But here's why you need to do it anyway. || Personal growth, Mindset, Happiness, Asking

How to make your daily commute more relaxed and bearable

If you live far from your school or work, then you’re pretty familiar with the life-draining experience that is commuting. You know that feeling when you’re in one heck of a traffic jam, your blood pressure spikes and your stress-level goes from zero to a hundred real quick? Yeah that.

I personally have no qualms on long commutes; my family has always lived far from the city centre and we prefer it that way. But I despise the heavy bumper-to-bumper traffic that comes with commuting.

I hate it with passion.

And when I’m royally pissed while commuting, I’ll bring that mood with me wherever I’ll go. Then I’d be royally pissed at everything for the rest of the day.

How to Make Your Daily Commute More Relaxed and Bearable | Daily commute, relaxed, mindfulness, happiness, stress relief

Let’s be real here: being royally pissed for a whole day can be quite exhausting.

Bad moods drain the life out of you. They exhaust you. And when you’re in one, it’s sometimes pretty hard to get out of it. Daily commute and traffic jams have a way of pushing our buttons, which is why commuting can be so stressful.

The thing is, it doesn’t have to be that way! Your commute time can be peaceful slices of your day, if you want it to. That’s why I always try and make my long commute to and from uni as relaxed and as bearable as I possibly could. Here are some things you can try to have a more relaxed and more bearable daily commute.

6 SIMPLE WAYS TO MAKE YOUR DAILY COMMUTE MORE RELAXING AND BEARABLE

1 | Read a book

This works when the traffic is super heavy and the cars move at, like, less than five centimetres per hour. Reading a book that’s light and in your favorite genre can make the daily commute more enjoyable. If you aren’t into or able to read a book in your commute, then maybe listening to an audiobook would be great for you. (And yes, listening to audiobooks is technically reading! Fayt me.)

2 | Listen to relaxing podcasts

Podcasts and commute are the best combination, you guys! I was a skeptic before, since I love listening to podcasts in a quiet room. But I was a quick convert the moment I listened to some of my favorite podcasts while taking the suuuper long commute to the office I interned in last semester. It made that hours-long travel more bearable. Sometimes, especially when I’m listening to Straight and Curly, I’d have to bite back a laugh. Talk about bringing good mood to where you’ll go!

3 | Do small craft work

This one, I’ve never personally done during my commute. But one time, there was this fellow passenger in front of me who was crocheting while we were in a traffic jam. She looked absolutely cozy and relaxed while doing it, too! There are also fellow artists who bring a small sketchbook with them so they can sketch while commuting. If you’re into small craft works like crocheting and art, you can totally do this! These are definitely small yet absolutely fun activities you can do in your daily commute.

4 | Be present (and listen to Sargant)

Being present, especially in an often stress-filled environment like the middle of heavy traffic, can be extremely difficult. And I’d like to give a special side eye to those impatient drivers who toot their horns like some entitled trolls and horribly adding to the already noise-polluted situation. We all want to get out of this traffic, Benjamin.

I recently came across Ash Sargant, this man who created ten-minute tracks of the BEST ambient music I’ve ever heard. What he did, in my opinion, was extraordinary.

Sargant believed that one of the reasons why we find our commutes super stressful is because we associate the usual sounds we hear during a commute – the footsteps, the car horns, the engines – with stress. So he recorded calming music tracks using traffic, escalators, footsteps on cement floor, and all other mundane sounds that we usually find annoying. This particular track, Big Departure, is my favorite.

5 | Practice mindfulness

I don’t practice mindfulness regularly but the times that I did, it never fails me. One simple mindfulness exercise I do while commuting is picking up four things that I can sense with four of my senses. So, four things I can see, smell, feel and hear. I usually don’t include taste. If mindfulness meditation seems hard for you, there are also short guided meditation podcasts, like Chel Hamilton’s Meditation Minis podcast, and apps like Headspace that you can listen to.

6 | Catch up on sleep

By far, this is my favorite thing to do while commuting. And as someone who can sleep on, like, any-freakin-where, this comes easy-peasy for me. It’s great too, since I don’t have to awkwardly look at that window pane in between the two passengers in front of me. Catching up on sleep during your commute is fantastic especially if you didn’t have much time to sleep in the past few days.

Do you take long commutes everyday? What do you do to make your daily commute more relaxing and more bearable?

xx Kate

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6 Simple Ways to Make Your daily Commute More Relaxed and Bearable | Lifestyle, stress relief, mental health, happiness
PS. I have a Pinterest board for stress relief and another one for mindfulness and mediation. Check them out!

Three Key Steps to Challenge Unhelpful Negative Self-Talk

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Most of us have been mentally talking to ourselves for our whole lives. We’ve started doing this the second we learned about words and their meanings and how meaningful – and powerful – words could be.

And often these are the kinds of self-talk we engage in:

Stop that.

You don’t know what you’re doing.

You don’t know anything.

You’re worthless.

How to Challenge Negative Self-Talk | Personal growth, Mental Health, Life tips, Inner critic, Personal development, Self-improvement, Healthy mind

I’m going to take a guess this is the kind of self-talk you have, too. The cautious ones. The wary ones. The doubtful ones. Negative self-talk.

How Negative Self-Talk Developed

I read an article somewhere that says the negative self-talk dominating our minds got its root, first and foremost, from our parents. You know how as kids we were always told to keep away from this and that because it’s dangerous? To keep quiet and let the adults talk? To not disturb the old lady across the street? To not disturb anyone?

I’m sure our parentals had good intentions. They were only trying to teach us good manners. But as children with inner worlds still developing, we absorb everything handed to us. We’re basically Spongebobs! As we grow and take in and process the world we see with our eyes, our inner world is building itself too. And all those loving cautions and wariness and doubt?

They embed themselves into our mental blueprint quite early on. Soon enough, we find out there are societal expectations and standards that the rest of the world somehow follow. These too embed themselves into our mind. And, lo and behold, our own little inner critic is born. Kinda like a Powerpuff Girl, don’t you think? And actually,

The Power of Negative Self-Talk

There are studies that have proven constant negative self-talk leads to increased stress, and worst case scenario, anxiety and depression.

Negative self-talk can limit you. It holds you back from your true potential, and get this, it can be self-fulfilling. You constantly tell yourself you’re not good enough to do or be something, chances are you’ll talk yourself out of even trying.

The worst part is that negative self-talk can do all these in sneaky-ninja style. Self-talk is habitual and it happens so fast, you won’t be able to consciously catch everything. But your subconscious does, and it absorbs everything it catches. You may live your life unaware that your self-talk is actually hurting you and affecting the way you see yourself. So here are 3 key steps to challenge negative self-talk.

HOW TO DEAL WITH
NEGATIVE SELF-TALK IN THREE KEY STEPS

1 | Be Mindful

Notice what you mentally say to yourself every day. Negative self-talk is a sneaky ninja so being able to suss it out and feel its presence is important. Being mindful of your thought process and what goes on in your head will help in this. I learned that negative self-talk often appears in either one of these three scenarios:

When you encounter something new. It could be a new face or a new challenge or a new idea. Negative self-talk is wary of changes and new things. I’d even go far and say, it’s afraid of change and new things. Which is why it pops out whenever there’s one, and it will do everything in its power so you won’t go anywhere near the change or the new thing.

When your self-worth is being measured. It could be submitting an art for an art contest. It could be passing a major exam. It could be talking to your boss about a project you were assigned for. It could be as simple as picking the outfit of the day. Depending on what you feel measures your self-worth, negative self-talk will be there to criticize you.

When you’re in a stressful situations. We are often at our most vulnerable when we’re in a stressful situation. And sneaky ninjas like your negative self-talk are trained to sneak in on other people in order to get their job done.

It can appear in other scenarios too. And by becoming more aware of your thoughts, you’ll be able to spot negative self-talk before it can do anything else. Besides, ninjas do their work best when they are able to sneak in. Take that element of surprise out of its hands with mindfulness. Rachael Kable is my go-to for anything mindfulness. Her blog and her podcast, The Mindful Kind, is jam-packed with tips and advice on living a more mindful life.

2 | Know Negative Self-Talk’s Worth

Ask yourself: Is this negative self-talk factual or farfetch? Does it matter now and will it matter in five years? Is it helpful to what I want to achieve or is it hurting me? Is this something I’d say to a friend?

That last one in particular is something I find incredibly helpful.

I mean, think about it. When your friend goes to you saying, “I don’t think I can do this.” What do you do? You encourage them. You motivate them. You tell them, yes you can. You definitely don’t go, “Yeah you’re right. Don’t do it.” But isn’t it so weird that we treat ourselves differently?

We expect more highly of ourselves, yet we also know our flaws and imperfections far more than we know anyone else’s. Which is why we’re so harsh. This is exactly what negative self-talk thrives on. So if it’s factual, if it matters, if it’s helpful and if it’s loving, then the negative self-talk is good in a way. But more often than not, the opposite is true. Be sure that it ticks all the boxes.

3 | Create Reframing Exercises Regularly

Reframing your unhelpful negative self-talk is important if you want to challenge it, and ultimately deal with it in a healthier way. You can do this by changing your mindset, journaling, even talking to a friend or maybe a professional. I find that Tim Ferriss’ Fear-Setting is also helpful here, if you’re all for practical and visual way of dealing with negative self-talk.

The key here is to do it regularly. You may never get rid of negative self-talk completely. And you don’t have to! You just have to practice dealing with it and reframing it with something more helpful and more loving. After all, the only way to deal with sneaky ninjas is by constantly practicing your own defenses and counterattacks.

You got this! I believe in you.

How do you deal with negative self-talk? Have I missed out on something incredibly helpful? Share it in the comments below!

xx Kate

How to Challenge Unhelpful Negative Self-Talk | Personal growth, Mindset, Mental Health, Self-Talk, Inner Critic, Self-Improvement
Photos from Light & Grace (via Creative Market) and Ivory Mix

How to Make Your Well-Being a Priority

When my journalist sister had to take a day off because of a flu, we had to strap her to her bed. (Metaphorically, of course. We’re not monsters.) But then the next day? She’s back to work. Reasoning out that there are a lot of news that needs to be written that day. That she won’t be productive if she’s stuck in bed.

And you know what, I was SO mad.

Sure, productivity is important. I know this. You know this. Everyone and their mom and tita knows this. But this is not how productivity should go.

Despite our growing awareness on the importance of relaxing, there’s no denying the hustle culture is still ever-present. And I’m all for this yo! I am an avid supporter of hard work makes the dream work. I am pro- rolling up the sleeves and doing the job wholeheartedly and getting things done. Possibly even singing “Dig dig dig” like the Seven Dwarves.

My problem is that this can, and eventually will, go too far.

And usually when things go too far… No one’s happy.

Not you, not your friends and family, and definitely not the Seven Dwarves. Not even Happy. And I honestly don’t think self-improvement works that way.

See, here’s the thing: there will always be work waiting for you.

Work is almost as ever-present as humidity in the tropics, or ice in Antarctica. Work doesn’t give a single cent if it’s raining cats or dogs. It doesn’t care if the bees go extinct. And it certainly doesn’t care if you’re already hacking your lungs out. It’s still going to be there, regardless. So are you really going to compromise your health for that? Actually, are you really going to compromise your health for anything?

HECK NO.

well-being, quote

Which is why taking care of every aspect of your well-being is important in the long run. You cannot compromise your health for productivity, or anything else for that matter.

Your body is your long-term investment. And so you have to make every aspect of your well-being a priority. This is one of the few things in the universe that you absolutely cannot compromise.

Five Ways to Make Your Well-Being a Priority | Life advice, Well-being, Wellness, Personal growth

Deliberately Choose to Live a Healthy Lifestyle

As early as first grade, we were all taught that greens are good and too much Coke isn’t. But let’s be honest here, that’s an easy concept to understand but very difficult to apply in your lifestyle.

It could start small like, say, making yourself eat veggies a meal a day. Or having yourself dropped off a block from where you should go so you could walk the rest of the way.

And I’m not saying you can’t eat pizza and cake or take afternoon naps anymore. You totally could! My comfort food is chocolate-coated marshmallow. I can devour a dozen of those in one sitting. But I try not to because I know my teeth won’t ever forgive me. Still, I indulge myself with two or three and move along.

Listen to Your Body

Our bodies are not shy beans. It’s either completely outspoken or passive-aggressive. But if it has some issues, it WILL tell you, one way or another. The key here is to listen to your own body.

Sometimes, it can be pretty easy to know what our body wants. But there are definitely times when we’re too caught up with our own thoughts to take notice of what our own body is screaming at us.

I find that mindfulness helps here. Pause for a moment and do a quick mental check up on your body. Feel where the tensions are and which part hurts or feels heavy. Notice things you feel regularly or frequently.

Get Adequate Sleep

Sleep, like eating veggies and exercise, greatly affects our physical and mental health. But when we’re extremely busy or stressed, most of us wouldn’t hesitate to give it up and trade it for more time.

Friend, don’t.

Every individual has their own sleeping schedules that work for them. Find your own Goldilock zone. There’s much more meaningful tasks you can achieve in a day when you have enough sleep than when you don’t. So really, to be productive means to have enough sleep in a day. Now that’s how personal development works!

Also read: You May Not Need to Be an Early Bird to be Productive

Nurture Healthy Relationships and Wonderful Connections

We’re social beings, us humans. We crave relationships and having a connection with other people. Even twelve-year-old Kate in her goth/emo phase.

You can build new connections by joining in a group or a local organization that piques your interest. This can create a sense of belonging and also boost our self-confidence.

And while having acquaintances are great, knowing that you also have a close set of friends who are your awesome support system greatly helps in our physical and mental well-being too.

That said, if a relationship is not building you up and makes you feel sad instead, you have to pluck it out. Take that toxic relationship out of your life like tooth decay.

Take Some Time to do Things You Enjoy

Every time I feel stressed and overwhelmed with college or life in general, I work on an art project or write a draft for a blog post. And I always feel recharged afterwards. Seriously, every-freakin-time.

Having hobbies is incredibly important. You’ll not only get your mind off school or work for a while, but once you go back, your mind and body will be well-rested and super ready to tackle whatever work you need to do.

How do you prioritize your physical, mental and emotional well-being? Share your awesome insights in the comments below!

xx Kate

Photos from Marina Lima and Death to Stock

A Simple Self-Care Idea for a Healthy, Positive Mindset

How to Have a Positive Mindset (using a simple mental self-care idea) | Personal Growth, Mindfulness, Mental Health, Meditation

A friendly note from your resident potato:

This is a guest post written by Ellen of If It Brings You Joy. Below, she shared an awesome idea I want to try out for myself 🙂 You can also check out what I’ve written on her blog here. And, you know, scroll through her blog while you’re there 😉

Okay, onto the post.


How to Have a Positive Mindset (using a simple mental self-care idea) | Personal Growth, Mindfulness, Mental Health, MeditationWhen was the last time you took time to do nothing? Absolutely, sweet nothing? (Scrolling through your email or Facebook feed does not qualify as doing nothing!)

Sometimes we let our lives get so busy that we forget to take time for a little self-care for our mind. “Mental” self-care is easy and really doesn’t require much time, and you deserve the benefits that this type of self-care will bring to you.

The focus of a healthy lifestyle is often about eating healthy and being physically active. Of course those two aspects are important to have a healthy lifestyle, but just as important is being mentally (or emotionally) healthy. Yet, exercising our mind is often overlooked in the quest for better health.

A healthy positive mindset gives us a boost for being better able to handle everything life brings our way. Self-care for the mind promotes the ability to focus. And building your ability to focus will help you be able to respond instead of react to a situation because you’ll be in the mindset that enables you to think.

Related: 5 Reasons Why I Chose to Have a Positive Mindset

It will ultimately lead to a decrease in stress and increase in joyful living. And you’ll be better equipped to fully recognize and appreciate the big and little joys of life. #Win.

31-Day Self-Care Challenge for a Healthy, Positive Mindset

Even though self-care for your mind aims to slow your thought, in the end it will help increase momentum of your positive thoughts that will move you to a more appreciative, joyful life. Don’t underestimate your power to get yourself on a path of a healthier, positive mindset. Get started today on your path by taking my 31-Day Self-Care Challenge!

It’s really very simple: give yourself permission to do nothing AND enjoy it! Here’s how:

  • Sit in a comfy chair, on the floor, at your office desk, or anywhere that’s convenient. You can be in your home, office, or even out in nature. Sometimes I sit in my car in a parking lot!
  • Now, slow your mind and try to stop all thought. As thoughts come into your mind, simply guide your mind back to a state of rest. At first it may be challenging to stop thought. However, the more you practice, the easier it will be to keep your mind clear.
  • Oh, you don’t have time? No problem! This challenge requires only 5 minutes per day. Set a timer (available on any smartphone) so you don’t worry about the time. If you’re inspired, gradually increase the amount of time you give your brain a break. Work your way up to 20 minutes on days that allow you the time. Just try to do the minimum of 5 minutes every day for the full 31 days.

And that’s it!

If you take the time out of your busy life to slow down and commit to this challenge for 31 days, I suspect you will be hooked because you’ll feel better. You’ll realize that by slowing your mind for a few minutes a day, you’ll be a more relaxed person.

As your mind slows, you’ll gain more focus and clarity that will help you make choices that lead to the life you want for yourself.

Even though you may be feeling stressed because life is busy and there’s not enough time in the day to get everything done, taking time to slow your mind will actually help you get more done. You’ll gain the focus and clarity needed to think clearly and have a positive frame of mind. With those two things going for you, you’ll find yourself in a more relaxed, de-stressed mindset.

You might be thinking that this sounds a lot like meditation, and you’re right!

Meditation often gets a bad rap because people think it’s all about sitting in an awkward position with the thumb and finger pressed together. But in reality, meditation is whatever you want it to be.

There are no hard rules, you just need to slow your mind. Call it what you want, just take the time to do it and reap the benefits.

Self-Care-For-Healthy-Mindset

I’ll leave you with this quote by Doe Zantamata, author of the two-book series, Happiness in Your Life. Take my challenge, and may your mind be calmed so you are able to put things into perspective. Life is going to happen and we can’t control it all. But by being better equipped to put things into perspective, you’ll be on your way to a more joyful life.


About the author:

Blog author, Ellen Burgan Ellen Burgan from If It Brings You Joy has a passion to practice and inspire others to lead a positive, healthful lifestyle. She shares strategies for building good daily habits, breaking bad ones, and ultimately becoming your best, joyful self. Ellen also has 30+ years of experience as a business analyst.


The two gorgeous photos above are by Allie Smith. If you’d like to guest post on my blog, let’s talk! 🙂

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5 Motivating Reminders for When You Think You’re Not Enough

I’m pretty sure most of us have experienced this.

It’s kinda like a thief in the night. You don’t know when you’re gonna have it. Maybe you just woke up, or you’re studying for your majors, or watching a duck live its fabulous life. And then suddenly, you’re struck with a toxic thought:

I am not enough.

It’s just one thought, one single thought, but it bears so much power that it could lead to other toxic thoughts. It’s like a wobbly chip at the edge of a domino chain. The moment it falls, everything else follows.

And a domino chain of toxic thoughts could be the most awful feeling you could possibly have.

You need to press pause when it happens. You need to remind yourself that you are enough. Here are 5 powerfully motivating reminders for when it happens.

5 Reminders for when you think you're not enough | motivation, inspiration, mindset, mental health, self-esteem

1 | You’re achieving just by living

This is a brilliant quote I got from the ever-inspiring Bianca Bass. And she’s absolutely right. The fact that you are here right now, that you’re living and striving to get past every obstacle thrown your way is more than enough. It shows that you are growing. It shows that you are resilient and strong enough to get through life’s obstacles.

And let’s be real here, this whole being a human thing can be pretty difficult — even Bianca Bass thinks so!

Everyone has no idea what they’re doing 80% of the time. Everyone is struggling with their own inner (and outer) demons. You don’t have to do everything all at once. No one faults you for not being perfect, okay? Absolutely no one.

2 | You matter. Always.

I know this is hard to see, sometimes. It is especially difficult when you’re wrapped tightly around the thought that you don’t matter. And you have this nagging feeling that no one thinks you do.

But try to get past that. Look beyond the fog blurring your mind and you’ll see. There are people who look at you with concern in their eyes. Who look at you and see you. And the first person you should look beyond that fog? You.

Stand in front of the mirror. If it hurts to look at your reflection at first, grab one of those compact ones and bring it close enough that all you can see is your eyes. And remember: Those eyes know you matter. They know.

Related: Why I Prioritize Self-Acceptance over Self-Love

3 | You have made the best of difficult moments

Remember #1? When I said you were striving past every obstacle handed to you?

Now, think of all the awful situations you’ve been in before. Look over your shoulder to them. Then look at where you are now.

You got through them.

Isn’t that amazing? I think it’s amazing. And maybe you brought with you scars — most of the time, it does. But you are here. And everything you’ve passed through is over there waaay back behind you. This reminds me of that line in Hamilton’s “That Would Be Enough.”

“Look at where you are
Look at where you started
The fact that you’re alive is a miracle
Just stay alive, that would be enough”

4 | You are bigger than any obstacle

You are stronger than any difficult situation. Remember those past obstacles you got through? Use them as a reminder that whatever else you’ll face ahead, you can get past it, too.

Think about it. So far, your success rate of getting past all those obstacles is 100%. Someone once said — I forgot who it was — that humans were built in such a way that they always get to where they need to be. And I think that is so true. We may go through detours and u-turns and some awfully long pit stops. But eventually, we get to where we need to be.

5 | Have faith that everything will come together

I know that when you’re at your lowest, this can seem far-fetched and fictional. Sometimes I still catch myself thinking, “Really? Something good is out there? Why does that seem foolishly hopeful?” But do you really think that pain is just there for no purpose other than to let you suffer?

Actually, you can think that.

You can think everything and everyone exist to be against you. And the problems you are facing? Maybe they’re only there just to hurt you.

OR, you can learn from them. You can carry with you the lessons you learn from every experience you’ve gone through. You can look at that scar as a reminder. That you are strong and there is something beyond those challenges. And you can bring the experiences with you forward into your journey.

I understand how hard it must be when your entire being feels like it’s drowning in worries and doubts and toxic thoughts. You’d feel worthless. But please know that you are MORE than that.

You are not worthless.

You deserve happiness and assurance and the most awesome rainbow Mother Nature can provide.

Because you are you.

And that is enough. You are enough.

If you ever need someone to talk to, please don’t hesitate on contacting me via email or through my social media accounts. All my inboxes are always open for you 🙂

xx Kate

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