Four Personality Tests You Can Try Today to Better Know Yourself

See, I agree with Shrek when he said that ogres have layers. I also think that us humans, like onions and ogres, have layers. And much like how peeling an onion layer by layer is a slow, gradual process, so do peeling your own layers. As a twenty-something, I honestly believe that there’s still much of myself that I have yet to learn and get to know.

Which is why I find personality tests fascinating.

And no, I don’t mean the “What potato salad are you?” kind of personality test on Buzzfeed.

These four personality tests helped me learn more about why I act the way I act, what are valuable to me, how I act with others, and why I can’t – for the love of all that is good – follow through with personal goals.

Myers-Brigg Type Indicator

This is probably the most popular personality test in this list.

Myers-Brigg Type Indicator (MBTI) looks into four aspects of your personality: how you get energized, how you take in information, what means you use to make decisions, and how fast you can make a decision.

I took this personality test for the first time a few years ago in my General Psychology elective class. And surprise surprise, I got a 100% in Introversion back then. The great thing about this personality test is that it’s pretty accurate. I’m an INFP-T, according to the NERIS Type Explorer, which based its test on MBTI. And let me tell you: the description screams Kate!

With MBTI, you are able to identify your strengths and weaknesses, particularly in the process of making a decision and interacting with both people and ideas.

Four Tendencies

I’ve learned of the Four Tendencies from listening to Kelly and Carly of the Straight and Curly podcast. (Side note: If you’re looking for an awesome podcast on self-improvement, give them a listen!)

The Four Tendencies framework was created by Gretchen Rubin and it can help you identify how you respond to inner and outer expectations. This is particularly helpful when you’re trying to create new habits and achieve goals.

Related: How to Follow Through with Your Goals

You can take the test on Gretchen’s website, or maybe you’d know which tendency you are a part of just by reading the definition of each below:

Upholder – If you’re an upholder, you meet both inner and outer expectations so you don’t let others and yourself down. Upholders generally find creating habits easier than other people but they may still struggle.

Questioners – Questioners only meet inner expectations. They don’t do anything arbitrarily. They’re only going to do something if it makes sense. For instance, they could keep a resolution if it is extremely important but they won’t do it at a certain date like say, January 1^st, just for the sake of it.

Obligers – Where questioners only meet inner expectations, obligers are the other way around. They only meet outer expectations. This means that they can easily achieve tasks and form habit if there was an external accountability involved. But they can’t do it on their own.

Rebels – As fairly named, rebels resist both inner and outer expectations. They would most likely cringe at the idea of creating routines and would generally try to live life with spontaneity.

The Attachment Theory

Coined and developed by Bowlby and Ainsworth, Attachment Theory examines the emotional bonds between people. They also suggested that our earliest attachments (aka back when we were all wee potatoes) have lasting impact on how we respond and act in our relationships as grownups.

There are four attachment styles, namely: secure, avoidant, ambivalent and disorganized. The attachment theory does not only examine the romantic relationships we have – although, some questions in the test do focus on that.

I am a mix of secure and ambivalent, leaning more on ambivalent. When taking the test, I suggest thinking of how you are with your friends and family also. You can find out what your attachment style is over here.

Enneagram

Enneagram was my recent personality test find. I know it’s been around for a long time, but I’ve only taken the test recently. And let me just say: my type was super accurate to me?? I couldn’t believe it???

The Enneagram Institute describes enneagram as “one of the most powerful and insightful tools for understanding ourselves and others.” The idea here is that we’re dominantly defined by one type, but that we may also have a bit of the other eight types.

I am a Type 4, also known as the Individualist, which was pretty spot on, if I say so. You can try a free enneagram test here and learn about your type in-depth on the Enneagram Institute’s website.

I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!

Have you tried any of the personality tests above? What are your results?

xx Kate

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Photos from Ivory Mix

October 17, 2018 6 Comments

We Need To Get Better at Asking for What We Need

When I read that sentence on a newsletter I subscribed in, I felt like someone suddenly turned the light on me. Like I could finally see the world clearly and in full Technicolor.

Is this a problem I struggle with? Heck yes.

I’m the type of person who would gladly help others, however much I could. But when I’m the one at the asking end, things are a-whole-nother potato salad:
I am SO not comfortable asking other people for help.

Just saying that, admitting that to the ethers where other people can read it, is giving me the heebie-jeebies. Maybe it’s my pride that’s stopping me. Maybe it’s because I feel I’d be imposing too much if I ask for help. Maybe it’s both plus a hundred other internal complications like low self-esteem and high self-doubt. But there it is.

We’ve all had this feeling, I like to think. It may not be as severe as mine, but I’m sure you’ve gone through this to a certain degree. I mean, you wouldn’t have clicked on this post if you haven’t, right?

I find teens and young adults usually find it difficult to ask for help. I was definitely one of those teens – still am one of those young adults.

But even when you’re an adult (or #adulting), you may still have some difficulty asking for help.

Why is it so difficult?

Well, the short answer for this is a word you’ve probably come across a lot if you’ve been reading my blog for a while:

FEAR.

Having trouble asking for help stems from a lot of causes but the main root is often fear. Your fear may be a different kind of fear from others’, but it’s fear all the same. Here are three common ways fear may hinder you from asking what you need:

Fear of Showing Vulnerability

Asking for help is one of the most vulnerable things you can do in front of someone else. And people avoid looking vulnerable like the plague. Which is probably why it feels so uncomfortable.

Fear of Breaking Your Perceived Image

We like to think that we are fully capable of facing our problems on our own. Again, this could be because we don’t want to seem weak or vulnerable (which are two different things, by the way!)

Fear of Rejection

When you ask for something, there’s like a 50-50 chance you’d probably be rejected. It’s a “Sure thing!” or an “I’m sorry, I can’t” kind of question. Often I find myself skewing that 50-50 odds. I’m super focused in the worst-case scenario (i.e., getting rejected), I have zero reason to believe that people will actually reason.

Fear gets the best of everyone. And I mean every-freakin-one. And letting fear hinder you from asking for help, is also letting fear hinder your growth.

WHY YOU NEED TO GET BETTER AT ASKING FOR HELP

1. You can’t do everything on your own

You may feel like some kind of superhuman who do not need to ask for help. But here’s the thing: Even computers can’t do things on their own.

The computer or tablet or phone that you’re using to read this right now also has limited capacity. It’ll be even less capable without the Internet and added storage.

Even world-famous people like Michael Phelps and Steve Jobs and Arianna Huffington and Oprah didn’t achieve what they have achieved completely on their own. Even their triumphs and successes are a product of the many hands and minds of people who’ve influenced them or worked with and for them along the way. Even my blog is a product of the tons of help I got, both directly and indirectly.

This isn’t to say that this blog isn’t entirely my work. It totally is! But all throughout this wonderfully journey, I’ve learned a thing or twenty from people in some way or another. And we all do!

2. People want to help you

It sounds ridiculous. And sometimes, I still can’t wrap myself around this “ridiculous notion”. But it’s true. People want to help you. They really do. (Dum-dee-doo.)

The trick here is, they won’t really know how they can help… if we don’t tell them. And we’ve already established that (scroll back up) we rarely do.

A friend of mine once shared to me that she had a grudge on a friend of hers. All because her friend did not do something that she “thought was pretty obvious” she needed.

The problem with thinking this way is that this is wrong most of the time.

Like when I thought that smudge of paint on my artwork was super obvious and is totally ruining the entire piece but my mom didn’t see squat. She didn’t understand why I was so upset because the reason was invisible to her.

I’ve learned that what seems completely, totally, undeniably obvious to me is most likely completely, totally, undeniably unnoticeable to others

3. You open yourself up

Sometimes we’re so afraid to ask for help because of the scary possibility of getting a no. That we might get rejected.

But like I said, people want to help you! There was this study that found people actually get help twice as much as they thought they would. This only goes to show that people want to be helpful and feel useful, but we think otherwise.

Think about it: isn’t that why you love to help others?

I know that’s why I love to help. Because I want to be helpful and feel useful.

When you ask for help, you’re telling people they can help you. You’re telling people you are open to learning from them. You’re telling people that you are human and you don’t have everything figure out (which is totally okay!) You’re telling them you need help. And that you want to rely on them.

In doing so, you are not weak. Or incompetent. Or unworthy. You just need support. Nothing wrong with that.

I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!

What do you need? Let us help you! 🙂

xx Kate

Photo from Ivory Mix

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October 10, 2018 12 Comments

Why you need to let your inner child out to play

At age 8, I was already building my very own empire.

A paper empire, to be exact.

I have a paper doll, Analysse, who had a paper mansion and custom tailored clothes (I drew them myself).

She was living The Dream, I’m telling you!

But the thing was, her house was empty. She needed to eat the most delicious food and have the most beautiful things. She could even have her very own elephant, I thought as I look at my thick coloring book given to me by my uncle. It’s filled with the exact things Analysse needed – hair brush, hand bags, elephants and ice cream. Tons of ice cream.

I grabbed a pair of scissors and was about to cut them when a hand held my wrist. It was my aunt.

When she asked me what I was doing, I told her I’m going to cut out a few of the pictures so I could play them with my paper doll.

That’s not how you use coloring books, was what she told me then. Coloring books are for coloring. It isn’t meant to be cut out.

I’m sharing this story now, not because I have a grudge on my aunt for not letting me play back then (I don’t hold grudges) but because, remembering all those years ago, I realized that I was held back. I wasn’t allowed to play however I wanted.
And just like 8-year-old me, my inner child has also been held back. And it stayed that way for years.

I’ve only allowed my inner child to play freely recently. Like 2016 recently. And even to this day, there are still times when I hold myself back.

Here’s the sad truth:

We somehow have this idea that adulthood meant shoving your inner child into the deepest, darkest recesses of your subconscious. That we would no longer need it when we’re adults. Add to that, we live in a world where child-like behaviors are frowned upon.

Raise your hand if you’ve ever been told to “grow up” after doing something fun and carefree and completely un-adult-like.

That’s one aunt holding you back from your play. But really, it’s the aunt inside us that we listen to the most.

Back in the 1970s, psychologist Eric Berne theorized that we all have three parts in us all the time: the parent part, the adult part and the child part.

The idea is, in order to live a happier life, you need to find the balance between these three parts. By age 15, however, (and I’m guesstimating here ok??) we let our adult part take the reins completely. Because that is what’s expected of us – to be adults.

Sure, we’re all adults now. We have far more responsibilities than we did as eight-year-olds. But that does not mean you need to shove your inner child onto the back corner. I have 4 reasons why you need to unleash your inner child and make friends with it.

WHY YOU NEED TO LET YOUR INNER CHILD PLAY

1) It Relieves Stress

As a kid, you usually don’t care about falling down or getting bitten by ants or having dirty hands. You just play and have fun and enjoy yourself! Who cares about dirt? (Adults, that’s who.)

Plenty of studies have shown that the carefree, playful attitude that’s often found in kids can increase happiness and reduce stress.

I’ve had tons of impromptu dance parties with my brother at home and I know this to be true. Play with your pet! Stop for a sec and smell the flowers. Get on your knees and get dirty.

Small yet super fun activities like these can help you forget, even just for a while, the stress that comes with adulting.

2) Strong Fearlessness Muscles

I have these two distinct memories from two different periods in my life:

The first one was when I was around six or seven, dancing my butt out in the middle of the makeshift dance floor at my mom’s office Christmas party.

The second one, I was a sixth grader in our school’s bathroom with my friend, showing to her that I could dance the Spaghetti dance in secret.

I’m a college student now in my senior year, and the only place you could see me dance is inside my house with my brother. (And it only takes me about two minutes and I start wheezing. Gosh I’m old.)

My fearlessness muscles that were super active when I was a six-year-old have become super, super stiff. And I’m sure I’m not the only one in this.

Letting your inner child out to play is a great exercise to your fearlessness muscles. Neither your parent part, and especially not your adult part, has any courageous streak in them. Only your inner child do.

3) Creativity and Inspiration

If there was one word that you could associate with kids, I’d say it’s “why.” Children are curious little potatoes. You’ll probably remember those times when you were a kid and you either thought to yourself or asked an adult why.

Why is the sky blue? Why are Tom & Jerry always fighting? Why do my friend Jenny only have a mom and no dad? Why do ants march in a single line? Why can’t those children go to school? It’s asking these questions that will foster your creativity. It will inspire you to think, to empathise, and to be more aware of the worlds both inside and around you.

The connection between your inner child and creativity has also been scientifically-backed. The Mission made a list of how unleashing your inner child can make you creative.

There’s also this amazing Ted Talk by then twelve-year-old Adora Svitak about how “childish” thinking inspires bold ideas and unhindered creativity. It’s a lovely talk and you should definitely check it out here.

4) You Become a Better Adult

Did you know that narcissistic behaviors and temper tantrums seen in adults are the result of your inner child “acting out”?

Mind = blown.

When you don’t give it play time, your inner child will find its own way to play by acting out. And, as things often do when restrained for too long, they act out in an awfully ugly way.

So all those so-called adults with negative child-like behaviors? You know. Those who are like a child in a grown man’s body (one of which you may know has an orange-y skin and hay-like toupee)? Those adults have not befriended their inner child or are even aware of it.

Mind = blown. Again.

Look, I’m not saying being an adult sucks. (Although adulting is definitely hard, not gonna lie.) If it weren’t for our mature and adult self, the world would be in total chaos. Like far more chaotic than it already is. True adulthood means taking your responsibilities seriously.

But remember: it is also important to let your inner child out to play. It is your inner child’s job to be creative, curious and courageous. Things that I’m sure we all need to cultivate as we also start our journey into adulting.

I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!

Have you let your inner child out to play? What are your thoughts on inner child and how it’s affecting your life? Share them below!

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Photos from Jess Watters (via unsplash). Check out the photographer’s website here.

October 3, 2018 8 Comments

September is Half and Half, No In-Between // Side Notes

Side Notes is a monthly wrap up where I share the interesting, and incredibly inspiring things I found during the month that I couldn’t fit in any post. Expect awesome recs, awesome books and awesome bloggers.

Also expect: fangirling (lots of it) and a glimpse into my life — the happy, the chaos and all.

Half on-my-knees-crying, half jumping-up-and-down happy.

Half super chaotic, half super relaxed.

Half unaccomplished potato, half slaying-it-productive potato.

In my September, there were no in-betweens. Only halves of the extremes. Interestingly, the first half was where all the crying and chaos and unaccomplishments happened. I have this itty-bitty suspicion it’s like one of those light drizzles that’s left over after the huge storm that was August passed. *glares at August*

The second half, there were still a bit of chaos and a bit of crying and a bit of unproductiveness, sure. But it was all manageable. And frankly, with the degree of happiness, and chillness, and accomplished-ness that I felt on the second half. Those tiny bits of negative were irrelevant.

In the Blogosphere

Suktara shared some amazingly practical hacks for busy women (and we all need these, believe me.)

Ki’ara discussed why we lose our motivation and offered great tips on how you can keep it.

Brittany argued why it’s best to forget about finding your purpose and it is such an interesting perspective!

Are you listening? Alex talked about active listening – what it is and how you could benefit from it.

We can definitely find happiness in the little things which is why Joy listed down 25 small things she finds joy in.

Amber wrote a comprehensive guide on how to navigate stressful situations.

Lana bravely shared the darkest moment in her life, in hopes of helping others realize that they are not alone. Not gonna lie, this one’s my favorite post I’ve read this month. (And that’s saying something, considering I’ve read dozens!)

The Awesome Side of the Internet

Yes, yes. I know. The Internet can be a jerk sometimes. But it is also filled with authentic and incredibly inspiring human stories. I always believe it only takes one kind heart for other kindness to join in 🙂

<3 Somebody created this masterpiece that is the Avengers: Infinity War anime opening. It’s BRILLIANT. My geeky heart is in paradise.

<3 This tweet DID NOT make me cry. I’m not crying. You are.

here are some stories of male intimacy to make you feel warm and sad pic.twitter.com/BF1R09Rl6W

— Kate Gray (@hownottodraw) August 31, 2018

https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

<3 If you want something totally adorable, scroll through this thread of cockatiels. Two is ah-dorable and the other one is downright funny. Watching these videos literally cured my cough.

<3 This comic about purple hair and imposter syndrome is TOTALLY RELATABLE. I can’t even.

Feedly app – For Keeping up with Your Fave Bloggers

My problem with the WordPress app is that it’s not so friendly with non-Wordpress blogs. And I rarely open Bloglovin hehe. Feedly is my favorite app to use when I need to quickly browse over all my favorite bloggers’ recent posts. And it has a super simple interface that even tech newbies can navigate!

Google Keep

I honestly don’t know what I would do without Google Keep. Honestly. Making use of Keep beyond just blogging is probably 80% why my second half of September wasn’t so chaotic. I use Keep to take notes on my academic works, putting links to refer back later, blog to-do lists and even reminding myself of my goals. Plus! I recently found out that I can open it on my browser. So when I need to make an outbound link to an article I referred in a post, I don’t have to do some Matrix maneuver with my phone! It is literally a life-saver!

Little Victories – Kickass Stuff that Happened This Month

I finally finished my application for graduation ahhh!
Joined in with a group of super inspiring ladies to work on something super incredible. (This one’s a secret for now 😉 )
Achieved my goals of reaching 950 followers on my blog and 90 followers on Instagram. Thank you so much to all of you!!! <3
I actually understood finance??? As a context, I hate finance. Of all my major subjects, I despise finance. And it’s so weird that I finally get the underlying theories behind some of the topics.

Little Detours – What Kicked My Ass This Month

(because we’re not perfect, and it’s good to share your awful moments)

Cough. Severe my-lungs-want-to-come-out-of-my-ribcage hacking.
I still didn’t do a lot of art this month. Still haven’t finished my Kate Harker illustration.
I still haven’t repotted Watson’s babies.
The rainy season. Which worsened my cough a few times.

Little Milestones – Things I Want to Achieve or Do Next Month

(because according to Gretchen Rubin’s Four Tendencies, I am an Obliger and I need outside accountability to reach personal goals)

Reach 1000 followers on here before November 14th (but preferably on October) and 100 followers on Instagram
Do two full-color illustrations. The Kate Harker one and another cutesy weapon-yielding girl.
Join in on Inktober for 20 days tops.

Last Month’s Self-Improvement Challenge

Read a Rumi passage a day. Nope. This didn’t come through at all. But! Sometime in the last week of September I was able to read a chapter of a nonfiction book a day. So can I’m calling that a 10% success? Yes or yes?

Next Month’s Self-Improvement Challenge

Read a chapter of a nonfiction book a day. I might as well continue on to this for October since I’ve already accomplished it in the last several days of September. Also hoping I’d finish a couple of nonfiction books this way.

I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!

How was your September? Is there a goal you want to reach next month? Let me cheer you on!

xx Kate

September 30, 2018 3 Comments

5 Pretty Color Pairs I’m in Love with Right Now

It’s been a year since I last shared my favorite color pairs on here. Between then and now, I’ve found some really awesome and super aesthetic color pairs. They inspired me with my blog’s new look and on my recent artworks.

I’m really loving pastels and neon colors these days, which is weird because I was never into these colors as a kid. I used to favor the bright, the deep and the neutral. Granted, my teen years were pretty much me in my goth and edgy “Don’t talk to me” phase so there’s that.

Anyway! Here are the 5 color pairs I’m loving at the moment!

But first, a disclaimer: None of the images I used in the collages below are mine and I will never claim them as mine. I found all of these via Pinterest and have made a board exclusively for this post. Please check out my Pinterest board if you want to know where I got them.

If any of the images below are yours and would like for me to take them down, please contact me through this page and I will do it as soon as possible. 🙂

Grey and Muted Pink

pink and grey - 5 color pairs I'm loving right now

What I absolutely love about this color pair is how it’s feminine but not overly so. Totally my cup of tea. I never liked greys in lighter shade before but they give this kinda moody, kinda aesthetic (?) vibe to it that I now absolutely love. And the pink is just a nice pop of color in contrast with that grey.

Magenta and Canary Yellow

magenta and canary yellow - 5 color pairs I'm loving right now

Magenta is another one of those colors that I never liked as a kid. My sis and I had this 480-color Crayola box and magenta was one of those colors we rarely use. It’s just, in my seven-year-old self’s eyes, magenta didn’t make sense. Like, is it red or is it purple?? It really confused me.

Now, I could fully appreciate its beauty. And because it’s such a vivid color, I usually pair it up with pastels or muted colors. Canary yellow is my fave to pair with magenta. A small area of the wall in my bedroom has this color pair and whenever I look at it, I’m just – it’s so beautiful.

Neon Blue and Ultraviolet

neon blue and ultraviolet - 5 color pairs I'm loving right now

Oh boi. As recent as when I was a freshman in college, I loathed neon. I hated it with passion. When I see neon, I run to the opposite side as fast as I can. But I’ve recently (like just this year recently) come to love neon colors. If you add in black, this color combo will be p e r f e c t. Neon colors just have this moody retro urban feel to them. It’s really great for creating atmosphere and moods in an illustration.

I tried to do it in a full-color illustration one time and… welp. It didn’t work. But it was probably because the paints I used were more muted. So I learned that if you want to recreate the neon look on watercolour, you’d need translucent paints for it.

Cerulean and Moss

cerulean and moss - 5 color pairs I'm loving right now

If Magenta was the color I rarely used as a kid, cerulean is the complete opposite. I freakin-loved this color! I would use it on every page of my coloring book. I’ve been saving nature landscapes from stock photo sites lately. I use them to practice on painting landscapes and I always get attracted to images with lots of blues and greens.

Blues and greens are classic color pairs that would always (always) work. I particularly love using cerulean with the less vibrant mossy green.

Mint and Peach

mint and peach - 5 color pairs I'm loving right now

*sigh* I love this color combo like you wouldn’t believe.

While I started to love pink, there’s nothing more beautiful than peach. Peach feels like it’s walking on that fine line between orange and pink, you know? I love that. And mint. Oh mint. I don’t know if it’s just me but it’s such a Gen Z color pair??? All pastel and bright and super aesthetic. This is the kind of atmosphere I want for my blog – fun and happy but also quite relaxing. I hope I achieved that 🙂

I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!

What are your favorite color combinations at the moment? Share them in the comments below! I’m always on the hunt for gorgeous colors 😉

xx Kate

PS. You can check out my previous post on color combos here!

September 26, 2018 11 Comments

How you can deal with perfection procrastination in 4 simple ways

I’ve done this TONS of times. You probably have too.

When you’ve wasted more than an hour getting every value in your spreadsheet aligned correctly rather than create that report you need to present to your boss next Friday, you’re procrastinating.

When you’ve spent a year researching on every travel websites and blogs, and redoing your itinerary for that one-month backpacking in Europe instead of just buying the damn ticket, that’s procrastinating.

When you’ve spent half your Nanowrimo scrolling through Twitter and creating character aesthetics and designs instead of writing your novel, that’s procrastinating.

And all these become perfection procrastination when you do them because you’re afraid of failing or getting rejected or doing poorly.

Perfection procrastination:

– is counterproductive.
– feeds on your unhelpful perfectionist tendencies.
– does not help you whatsoever.

Perfectionists do this, obviously. But even if you don’t identify as one, if you’ve stalled on doing what you need to do because you’re afraid of rejection or failure and you want things to go smoothly the first round, that’s still perfection procrastination.

It’s the kind of procrastination that is not helpful to you or anyone at all. (And yes, there are helpful or high-functioning procrastination.)

Believe me, you do not want this. So today I’m going to share how I deal with perfection procrastination. Hopefully, if you’ve also experienced perfection procrastination, this helps you too.

HOW TO DEAL WITH PERFECTION PROCRASTINATION

1) Set yourself up for the mess and the failure

One reason why I experience perfection procrastination is because I’m afraid of messing things up and failing the first time. I wanted things to go smoothly. I wanted things to be perfect. But who am I kidding? Perfect is to achievable as Pluto is to Neptune. They’re near but they’ll never meet. (Unless of course, the universe ends and they collide. But I digress.)

This fear of messing things up and failing often hinders us from doing what we’re supposed to be doing. This is where setting yourself up for the mess and failure comes in. It does not mean you’re giving yourself permission to do half-ass, sloppy work either.

Rather, you’re placing yourself in a position where perfection can’t happen. Perfection isn’t even on the menu because you’ve ordered at a restaurant that only serves chaos.
Here’s an example:

One of the artists I admire online, Jiji (@jijidraws) shared how she hasn’t posted any artworks recently because of her nagging fear that it won’t be good enough to post online.

So she created the No Fear Sketchbook.

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bm1ywHQnl0R/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=1igwsacyswd36

In it, she can’t use pencils, and she can’t erase her works. She knows not all the works in the sketchbook will be pretty or even good enough. Her only goal is to get something done. (Which I’ll talk further below.)

I love the idea of the No Fear Sketchbook. And I think you could apply this to any creative hobby you do. Like a No Fear Journal for writing, or a No Fear Photo Session where you aren’t allowed to edit your photographs.

By actively blocking out your perfectionism or perfectionist tendencies, you are able to work without constantly thinking it has to be perfect.

2) Knock out the “First Domino”

I recently came across this concept when I stumbled upon an article about a book called Good Excuse Goals by Jullien Gordon. (Which I’m totally adding to my TBR.)

The idea behind the “First Domino” is to pick the easiest, most impactful domino to knock out. This helps you break away from the procrastination and just start the work.

Imagine someone who wanted to start a blog but they wanted things to be absolutely perfect before launching. So they do their research and create their editorial calendar and pick out the theme and work on blog design. And do some more research and a thousand other tiny things they could have done later on.

What they’re doing is perfection procrastination.

Imagine just starting a blog, putting out several posts and interacting with other bloggers. Then all their worries from starting a blog will go away, won’t it?

Look, I’m not saying planning is wrong and that spontaneity is the best. But there is a huuuge difference between planning diligently and stalling because of the fear of imperfection.

By knocking out the “first domino”, you free yourself from worrying over taking that first step. You just take it and the rest will be easy to topple over.

3) Set more realistic goals

Did you know that people are more likely to finish on time when they’re given concrete tasks and they’re more likely to put things off when they see the work abstractly?

This 2009 study found that how the task is presented can influence when and how it gets done. Basically, tasks that are concrete and specific are accomplished on time while tasks that are more abstract and general aren’t.

My mind: *blown*

But it makes so much sense, doesn’t it?? Like, maybe your goal is to be a New York Times Bestseller, or an award-winning blogger, or you want your Youtube channel to get a million subscribers.

Cool. Awesome goals.

But will you be able to achieve them quickly and easily? Will you be able to follow through with these big goals?

Let’s be real here: you prooobably won’t.

All these big goals are great but they all feel like a faraway castle. And because they feel farfetched, accomplishing them gets postponed all-the-freaking-time. You get de-motivated and uninspired to continue. (I know this because I’m guilty of doing this.)

This is why I absolutely encourage turning big goals into smaller, more achievable goals.

Alli Worthington (my newly found blogging idol) said it best: reverse engineer your big dreams and goals, and make them more realistic.

Make them more concrete and more specific. You can even set yourself a short deadline with a five-item to-do list, or have a quota you need to meet at a set time. That’s how big dreams become more achievable.

4) “Good enough” is good enough

I noticed that whenever I create something, I have a finished outcome in my mind. So I work in order to reach that finished outcome.

Now, it’s great to know where you’re headed with your creative projects. But this can also backfire unpleasantly. You may end up focusing too much on the outcome – editing as you go, tweaking a small part of your artwork here and there – rather than on the process.

This is something I talked about before in my post about conquering creative blocks. Choose finished rather than perfect. Instead of wasting too much time making your work perfect, just get it DONE.

The more work you’ve put behind you, the more things you’ve finished, and the more lessons you’ll be able to learn from them. These finished works won’t all be near-perfect and they definitely won’t be all presentable. But they are good enough.

Go for good enough. Besides, you can always tweak it afterwards. What’s important is that you get it out the door.

Remember, perfection does not offer you the opportunity to learn. Mistakes do. And there is much you can learn from the mistakes you make along the way. That’s how you improve and, ultimately, grow.

Have you experienced perfection procrastination? How did you deal with it? Share your awesomeness below!

xx Kate

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Photo from Ivory Mix

September 18, 2018 11 Comments

How to make your daily commute more relaxed and bearable

If you live far from your school or work, then you’re pretty familiar with the life-draining experience that is commuting. You know that feeling when you’re in one heck of a traffic jam, your blood pressure spikes and your stress-level goes from zero to a hundred real quick? Yeah that.

I personally have no qualms on long commutes; my family has always lived far from the city centre and we prefer it that way. But I despise the heavy bumper-to-bumper traffic that comes with commuting.

I hate it with passion.

And when I’m royally pissed while commuting, I’ll bring that mood with me wherever I’ll go. Then I’d be royally pissed at everything for the rest of the day.

Let’s be real here: being royally pissed for a whole day can be quite exhausting.

Bad moods drain the life out of you. They exhaust you. And when you’re in one, it’s sometimes pretty hard to get out of it. Daily commute and traffic jams have a way of pushing our buttons, which is why commuting can be so stressful.

The thing is, it doesn’t have to be that way! Your commute time can be peaceful slices of your day, if you want it to. That’s why I always try and make my long commute to and from uni as relaxed and as bearable as I possibly could. Here are some things you can try to have a more relaxed and more bearable daily commute.

6 SIMPLE WAYS TO MAKE YOUR DAILY COMMUTE MORE RELAXING AND BEARABLE

1 | Read a book

This works when the traffic is super heavy and the cars move at, like, less than five centimetres per hour. Reading a book that’s light and in your favorite genre can make the daily commute more enjoyable. If you aren’t into or able to read a book in your commute, then maybe listening to an audiobook would be great for you. (And yes, listening to audiobooks is technically reading! Fayt me.)

2 | Listen to relaxing podcasts

Podcasts and commute are the best combination, you guys! I was a skeptic before, since I love listening to podcasts in a quiet room. But I was a quick convert the moment I listened to some of my favorite podcasts while taking the suuuper long commute to the office I interned in last semester. It made that hours-long travel more bearable. Sometimes, especially when I’m listening to Straight and Curly, I’d have to bite back a laugh. Talk about bringing good mood to where you’ll go!

3 | Do small craft work

This one, I’ve never personally done during my commute. But one time, there was this fellow passenger in front of me who was crocheting while we were in a traffic jam. She looked absolutely cozy and relaxed while doing it, too! There are also fellow artists who bring a small sketchbook with them so they can sketch while commuting. If you’re into small craft works like crocheting and art, you can totally do this! These are definitely small yet absolutely fun activities you can do in your daily commute.

4 | Be present (and listen to Sargant)

Being present, especially in an often stress-filled environment like the middle of heavy traffic, can be extremely difficult. And I’d like to give a special side eye to those impatient drivers who toot their horns like some entitled trolls and horribly adding to the already noise-polluted situation. We all want to get out of this traffic, Benjamin.

I recently came across Ash Sargant, this man who created ten-minute tracks of the BEST ambient music I’ve ever heard. What he did, in my opinion, was extraordinary.

Sargant believed that one of the reasons why we find our commutes super stressful is because we associate the usual sounds we hear during a commute – the footsteps, the car horns, the engines – with stress. So he recorded calming music tracks using traffic, escalators, footsteps on cement floor, and all other mundane sounds that we usually find annoying. This particular track, Big Departure, is my favorite.

5 | Practice mindfulness

I don’t practice mindfulness regularly but the times that I did, it never fails me. One simple mindfulness exercise I do while commuting is picking up four things that I can sense with four of my senses. So, four things I can see, smell, feel and hear. I usually don’t include taste. If mindfulness meditation seems hard for you, there are also short guided meditation podcasts, like Chel Hamilton’s Meditation Minis podcast, and apps like Headspace that you can listen to.

6 | Catch up on sleep

By far, this is my favorite thing to do while commuting. And as someone who can sleep on, like, any-freakin-where, this comes easy-peasy for me. It’s great too, since I don’t have to awkwardly look at that window pane in between the two passengers in front of me. Catching up on sleep during your commute is fantastic especially if you didn’t have much time to sleep in the past few days.

Do you take long commutes everyday? What do you do to make your daily commute more relaxing and more bearable?

xx Kate

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PS. I have a Pinterest board for stress relief and another one for mindfulness and mediation. Check them out!

September 12, 2018 10 Comments

The one thing you need to have when creatively frustrated

When it comes to creating something, the beginning is usually the best part.

That spark of inspiration, the glass-chime music of a new idea. The hairs at the back of your neck is raising, you get this deep but light feeling in your stomach — as if you’re hungry, but you’re really not. It feels like an incoming storm surge, but kinder, with its deep underground rumble.

And then… boom!

It comes at you intensely, crashing against your body like huge waves. You’re typing like a madman, going 100 words per minute. You’ve written The Best Introduction™ in a long time.

The dialogue between your MCs is sooo witty, you even chuckle-snorted. Your palette looks wonderful, and you mixed all the colors right. The anatomy of the hands is perfect and the shading is just as you imagined it to be.

It’s a dopamine hit.

You go into the creative process with maximum motivation, like a car with the turbo booster on. I love this part. You love this part. Anyone who creates things loooves this part! We all wish we could be in this oh-so-wonderful state of being for-freakin-ever. To be completely in the flow, because it feels like you are living and breathing creation itself. Like you’re freaking Te Fiti!

And then it’s gone.

Like any other booster, it sputters and fizzes out until there’s none left. The water is calm again. The intense inspiration leaves your body, replaced by an equally intense frustration.

Suddenly, the words feel foreign. The phrases don’t sound anywhere near poetic. The prose you first thought was brilliant is now utterly cheesy. The fingers look off. That purple doesn’t go well with that red. You realize how crap you actually are. Thoughts are going through your head at record speed:

“What is happening?”

“This looks wrong.”

“Why isn’t this fun anymore?”

“Why aren’t I as good as the masters?”

“This is wrong.”

“What am I gonna do?!”

“I am no good after all.”

Creative frustration. This is what happens when the fleeting, carefree pixie we call inspiration leaves our body in the middle of an incredible burst of creative flow.

It’s when the “Holy crap this is so good!” turns to “Holy crap this is tHE wORsT.”

I bumped into good ol’ Creative Frustration several months back. I was struggling with writing a draft for a blog post. I did not know how to convey into words what I was feeling and what I was thinking. It all just felt so wrong.

Stopping meant I wouldn’t be able to finish that blog post, and worst case scenario, lose that bout of inspiration that made me start writing it in the first place. But forging ahead meant the rest of the words I write, and the little jokes I put, would feel forced and unauthentic.

I guess, when we create something, we have this mental picture of its final look, an expectation. So when it doesn’t look anywhere near that, when it doesn’t meet your expectations (which is almost all the time ugh), it’s incredibly frustrating. You become resentful – at your work and, mostly, at yourself. Then the self-loathing starts.

You try to keep going but you can feel the awkwardness of every move you do or every word you typed or every stroke you put onto canvas. Everything just feels so wrong.

It’s usually at this point when you have the sudden urge to burn your work, or tear it to shreds, or lob it to the bin. This is when people usually throw in their towels and raise their white flags, surrendering to creative frustration.

But before you pull the plugs on that creative project, hear me out.

That creative frustration? It’s a natural part of the creative process.

You go through creative frustration in order for you to finish that work-in-progress. It may not look like it, but it can be very helpful too. It urges you to move. Being frustrated makes you want to try harder!

So what’s that one counterattack you can do when creative frustration hits?

Two words: creative stubbornness.

I was about to throw in the towel with that difficult blog post I mentioned earlier, but artistic stubbornness kicked in and I kept on writing. I tried not to look at the previous sentence or the previous paragraph. (Which was incredibly hard, let me tell you.) I only focused on putting one word after another. Side note: Practicing free writing was so useful in times like this, you guys.

Once I felt done with that first draft, I saved it and closed the Word document and stepped away from the computer. The next day, I started reading through what I wrote and began editing.

That’s when I realized that my initial topic morphed somewhere in the middle and turned to something else entirely. (In case you’re curious, it was this post about free writing.)

Sometimes, when you soldier on, you find great things you did not quite expect when you started.

Sometimes, you find your work is even more beautiful or more meaningful than what you first got on.

I think that’s the beauty of creative frustration and stubbornly going through it. With that, I leave you with this quote from a wise old lady of the Interwebs (aka: she’s been around since 2008 whaaat)

Do you experience creative frustration too? How do you cope with it, and what do you do to get through it? I would love to hear your thoughts!

xx Kate

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Photos from Ivory Mix

September 5, 2018 8 Comments

August Side Notes: A Melting Pot of Sweat, Tears and Hurried To-Dos

Side Notes is a monthly wrap up where I share the interesting, and incredibly inspiring things I found during the month that I couldn’t fit in any post. Expect awesome recs, awesome books and awesome bloggers.

Also expect: fangirling (lots of it) and a glimpse into my life — the happy, the chaos and all.

The Japanese has this eating game called yaminabe.

Literally translates to “dark night (yami) pot (nabe)”, it’s a whole ‘nother level of pot luck where you and your friends gather around a cooking pot and, with the lights off, throw in whatever ingredients each of you brought into the pot. And you have to eat whatever you got.

That pretty much sums up my August.

Life just threw in whatever it wants into my pot and all I could do is eat what I pick up and get through it. It was a tornado of a month and I’m just glad it’s over.

On that note, there won’t be any #DrawMyBooks section this month because I only read one (ONE) book in August and I decided I’ll just put it together with next month’s books. It’s kinda sad but not entirely surprising. Our semester started this month so I spent most of August getting back into uni mode and juggling college and my creative hobbies.

But enough about that, let’s get on with this!

In the Blogosphere

Queen of Spreadsheets, Shealea, shared some ah-mazing tips on making use of spreadsheets to up your blogging game.

Rebekah talked about disability discrimination and how it’s still an issue today and you need to read it N O W.

Alex listed three reasons a good idea is optional in creating. And if you’re a creative, specifically a writer, this one’s for you.

Debbie discussed about relatable villains and questionable heroes and mentioned The Darkling so you could be sure it’s a great post. (No bias here at all.)

Jenny shared how she fits self-care into her everyday life, because self-care isn’t just the occasional mani-pedi session but something we need to incorporate into our daily lives.

Ashley wrote an amazing piece about finding closure when a friendship ends — and it is super relatable!

“It’s true that in losing a friend, you still go through the five stages of grief.”

Jade listed down five ways to increase your motivation when you’re struggling with depression.

Nancy mused about finding time for the things that you love and listed some of the things she makes time for. AND I’M ALL FOR IT.

Abi published this super empowering post on embracing your sexuality as a woman.

Phil talked about “The Urgent Rush” which is when parents get worried that their kids don’t develop a certain thing at a certain age.

The Awesome Side of the Internet

Yes, yes. I know. The Internet can be a jerk sometimes. But it is also filled with authentic and incredibly inspiring human stories. I always believe it only takes one kind heart for other kindness to join in 🙂

<3 This creative video I found on Twitter

<3 Ava DuVernay inspiring message

<3 If you watched Bear in the Big Blue House back when you were a kid, someone found the lost last episode of the series here. A guaranteed tear-jerker.

<3 These beautiful art by Hayley (@FrockMeImFamous on Twitter) and the touching story behind it.

<3 These precious boys dancing to the music of this precious violinist.

I Need To Start a Garden EP by Haley Heynderickx

Shoutout to my best friend for recommending this artist to me (she knows my music taste so well <3) Haley is an absolute fab, adorkable human being and her songs just bring me inner peace – the kind you would need when you’re going back to school. Give “Oom Sha La La” a listen. It’s such a happy song but also very honest. You can check her out on Spotify here.

Blogging Buddies Facebook Group

Created by the blogger fairy godmother, Ruth, this Facebook group is an amazing place to connect with fellow bloggers and ask for blogging-related advice and share tips as well. Thanks to this group, I discovered tons of awesome bloggers whose websites I wouldn’t have been able to stumble upon otherwise!

Little Victories – Kickass Stuff that Happened This Month

Got friends on all my classes, yay!
Started a blog Instagram account and reached 50 followers in two weeks, omggg??? (As a context, it took me 2-freakin-years to reach 100 followers on my old account)
Drank more water, whoop whoop!
Reached 500 followers on Twitter, whattt <3
Finished a month’s worth of art journaling! (contrary to popular belief, I’m not good with keeping up long commitments like drawing everyday for a month so this is really a huge achievement for me)

Little Detours – What Kicked My Ass This Month

(because we’re not perfect, and it’s good to share your awful moments)

My calculator game was off like you wouldn’t believe. As an accounting student, I need to solve long problems as fast as possible, and I was just a hot mess for the past few weeks while solving sample problems, ugh. Get it together, Kate!
I had a mini writer’s block and wasn’t able to write my September posts on time. BUUUT! I used a five-item to-do list every time I started to feel overwhelmed and it helps a lot!
I wasn’t able to create a lot of art.

Little Milestones – Things I Want to Achieve or Do Next Month

(because according to Gretchen Rubin’s Four Tendencies, I am an Obliger and I need outside accountability to reach personal goals)

Finish my Kate Harker illustration.
Repot my cactus, Watson’s babies. (Still had to do this. I’m so sorry, Watson!)
Reach 950 followers on here.

Next Month’s Self-Improvement Challenge

Read a Rumi passage a day for thirty days. (Wish me luck!)

Who’s currently your favorite artist? What were your goals in August? Did you achieve them? Share them all below!

August 31, 2018 12 Comments

Do this when your Fear of Missing Out is at its all-time high

Imagine this. One fine morning, you wake up and realize, “Oh my god, I’m doing the same thing over and over every day!” So you end up doing every conceivable thing you haven’t tried in a matter of days or weeks. You try to tick out this super long bucket list before this internally-set deadline comes to pass.

At the end of the day, you feel extremely exhausted and, um… not quite as accomplished as you thought you would be..?

There was an exact same episode in Modern Family about this. This kid Manny realized that he’s missing out on things that boys his age often do. And so, before his thirteenth birthday came to an end, he set out to do several of them like phone pranks and lying on a colorful float in the middle of the pool.

Let’s all be honest here: we’ve had our Manny moment.

We’ve all had an episode or two of FOMO, or fear of missing out, especially in this age of social media and being constantly connected to the entire world. Add to that, this growing pandemic of comparisonitis, some of us practically experience FOMO, like, twice a week tops. (Or is that just me? Hmm.)

But every once in a while, there’s that day. When your mind decides to jump deep, deep down into this FOMO rabbit hole and you then go into an existential crisis. You question the meaning of your life. You wonder if you’ve done stuff people your age “often do”. You think, Am I missing out on the most important things???

Life is a roller coaster ride of changeable wants.

One minute, you want to have a stable routine. The next minute you want to change it up a bit. It’s all fun and exciting until you reach either edge of the spectrum – too attached to a routine to make room for changes, or frantically doing new things by the minute. And we often suffer the latter. (Case in point: the Manny moment.)

The good news is: we can find a balance. We can deal with this fear of missing out in a healthy, do-no-harm way. Here’s what you can do when FOMO is at its peak level.

Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

I did not drop that c-bomb above for show, you know.

If not treated early, comparisonitis could be a deadly disease that could severely affect your life. I should know. I have comparisonitis as much as an active child has snot and bruised knees. Which is, like, nearly every day. And fear of missing out? That’s an effect of comparing yourself to others. You take a look at other people’s lives and you take a look at yours. And (because we’re often too hard on ourselves) you come up with the conclusion that you’ve done less than anybody else. Cue FOMO.

Friend, stop it. Comparisonitis never gave us any real benefit. So you can definitely cut that out of your system and out of your life.

Look Into Your Inner World

Know what you want in your life. A lot of us are so hung up on wanting to experience #AllTheThings that our external world can offer us, we forget to take notice of the incredible world right under our nose… or, you know, inside our skull.

Getting to know yourself is intimate and it is extremely important in order to not let FOMO reach its peak. If you want to learn how to find yourself but don’t know where to start, I HIGHLY encourage you to read Syaza’s amazing post about how to find yourself when you’re feeling lost. It’s like meditation on paper… or mobile screen, whatever. It’s amazing and may enlighten you with some awesome ideas!

Remember that We All Run on Different Paths in Different Paces

Life is not a sprint, it’s a marathon. And you have to remember that there’s no one participating in your own marathon but yourself. Sure, it may look like you and some other people are running in the same direction. But sooner or later, your paths will diverge. They’d go the other way, and you’d continue on yours. You’ll have a few stops somewhere in the middle, and new people will pass you by. And you’ll also pass by some. But these people? They’re not “ahead” of you. In the one-man marathon you’re in, no one ever is or ever will be.

Let Go of the Limiting Beliefs

My sweet, sweet potato, limiting beliefs are comparisonitis’s nasty cousins. They are good at nothing but, well… limit you. Let them go. You do not need them. You are better off without them.

Side note: I do understand that letting limiting beliefs go is easier said than done, so I’ve listed 5 common limiting beliefs you may have and how to vanquish them like a bogart. *whips out wand*

Take Inventory of What You Have Right Now

I like to think that we all have a box we carry with us all the time. And the more we grow, and the more we experience life, we pick up stuff that we put inside our box. Do an audit of what’s inside your box. And while you’re at it, don’t look at other people’s boxes! Just focus on your own box. Look at all the things that you’ve picked up over time. What’s in it? How do these things impact your life? What good did they bring you?

Folks, this is gratitude. Or… you know, how I practice gratitude in my life. By looking at my box. By being extremely grateful of what I’ve brought along and carried with me in this journey called life. And then, and only then, can I trudge forward, to try new things and meet new people and live my life to the fullest.

Have you ever experienced boss-level FOMO? How did you deal with it? Share your stories and insights below, we’d love to hear (or read) them! <3

xx Kate

Photos from Ivory Mix

August 29, 2018 11 Comments